In my last pregnancy, I gave up teaching exercise classes at 8 weeks pregnant due to constant exhaustion. My Body Pump classes where early morning and evening slots, at these times I really struggled to muster up energy and paint a smile on my face to motivate participants. I went on to do very little exercise, going from exercising 6 times per week to virtually nothing. Looking back, I do regret my decision to quit exercise in my first pregnancy as I gained so much unnecessary weight and cellulite over that period. It made my return to exercise post birth that bit harder. I also think it’s one of the reasons I felt so down in the early weeks of motherhood. It’s important to remember that pregnancy is not an illness and should never be used as an excuse to avoid being active daily, like I did in the past. Some women, unfortunately have medical complications which cannot be helped and end up having a rough time of it, but for most it’s a manageable time. Exercise in pregnancy has numerous benefits: · Boosts energy levels · Improves sleep quality · Reduces muscular discomfort · Reduces stress · Improves self-image and body awareness · Lowers risk of certain pregnancy related complications · Helps aid a quicker post-natal recovery · Maintains fitness · Improves circulation · Preparation for labour Although exercise is recommended in pregnancy I do feel it’s important to stay safe and listen to your own body limitations. Pregnancy is not a time to try and gain PBs (personal bests) in the gym, it’s all about maintenance, staying fit, healthy and active. I have managed to keep exercising this pregnancy, whether its long walks with my son and the dog, home workouts or a visit to the gym. I’m now starting to feel more energised again so gym sessions will be stepped up this week. My aim being 2-3 resistance sessions per week (at home or at the gym), prenatal yoga once per week and keeping up with my walking. I try to aim for around 8000 steps per day, some days I will be under that if I’m working, then other days I can rack up near 14000 steps. Pregnancy effects everyone differently. While some women fully embrace their body changing, others find it tough to deal with. I’ll hold my hands up and openly admit that I do not enjoy pregnancy. Yup I did just say that! If I could fast forward to the labour and birth phase then I absolutely would. Both my pregnancies where planned and very much wanted, however, I find myself miserable and emotional throughout. I am unable to embrace the radical body changes, deal with the constant fatigue, headaches and the uncomfortable muscular pains. I am also such a worry wart and can't wait to get her out of me and into my arms and to know all is truely well. The two things that keep me sane at the moment is the beautiful baby at the end of the journey, who I get to love more than life itself. Having to focus on optimum daily nutrition is a welcome distraction too. I aim to consume sufficient energy and nutrients to support babies growth and development. I am super over the top when it comes to pregnancy nutrition, I avoid quite a lot of food sources in the fear they could potentially affect my unborn child. I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. Some foods aren’t even listed as sources to limit or avoid when pregnant. Being a mum you just always want to do the best you can for your children. Everyone has their own opinions which they are fully entitled too, as long as that doesn’t involve shaming other mums who don’t share the same views as they do. I feel slightly guilty for not enjoying carrying my baby for 9+months. However, just because I don’t enjoy pregnancy, doesn’t make me a bad person or any less worthy of being a mum. If I was fortunate enough to be allowed a third child then I’d easily endure it all again in a heartbeat. It’s not like I’m out drinking or smoking in pregnancy, quite the opposite! Avoiding busy loud social events and following a strict healthy lifestyle throughout. I am truly blessed to be in this position, not all women get to be this lucky. Approaching 21 weeks now. Over the half way point, count down began at the positive pregnancy test for me. Sharon x
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Why is everyone obsessed over due dates? According to my NHS dating scan, I will be 20 week’s pregnant tomorrow. However, this isn’t really the case, given that I know my specific conception date as this was a planned pregnancy. I will in fact be 19weeks and 3 days tomorrow. You might think 5 days is not that much difference, but it is a big deal considering the NHS now recommend all women are induced at 41 weeks. 5 days is almost a week’s difference. These new guidelines seem complete ludicrous to me, given that the average first time mum gives birth at 41 weeks +3 days. Take France for instance, you are not considered full term until you reach 41 weeks, therefore not overdue until you go past 42 weeks. I know the UK have changed their policies to try and reduce the number of stillborn babies, but due dates are nothing more than an estimated date, therefore it is not accurate to say someone is overdue at a certain point. I like to think that babies will come when they are ready and not before. Women spend their entire pregnancy fixed on their given due date, but when that date comes and goes it can be rather upsetting. I’ve now lost count of times I’ve been asked when I’m due. It literally instantly irritates me and now my response is simply, ‘sometime in October’. Do people not realise that we are all different shapes and sizes, no two babies are the same and they all develop at different rates, so for the sonographer to tell you in the first trimester that your baby is due on a specific date going by the size of the gestational sack and measurements from the crown (head) to the rump (pelvis) is nothing more than a complete estimate guess. This is the reason why only 4% of babies arrive on their due date. In my opinion it’s almost as stupid as the NHS using a BMI chart (body mass index) to gauge whether someone is overweight. We are all individuals and different, no one size fits all. To say that someone should be a certain weight if they are a certain height is complete nonsense. I know body builders that have less than 8% body fat, but according to the BMI chart they are considered obese. This is due to their heavy weight on the scales and not considering that muscle tissue actually weighs more than fat. Some people are tall, short, or even muscular, no one is the same, so why should we all have to fit into the same category? I shouldn’t get too wound up with people asking when I’m due as I know it gets a lot worse when you enter the month in which your baby is due. That’s when the barrage of texts from friends and family start, asking if there are any signs of a baby making an appearance soon, asking how you are feeling or telling you to hurry up as they want to meet the baby. Although people mean well and they just want to know how you’re getting on, there’s nothing more upsetting, after spending over 9months pregnant, going past an estimated due date, than to be hounded and constantly reminded that the date has come and gone. Trust me, we are well aware! My advice to people who have family or friends currently pregnant – · Question the due month NOT the specific due date · Don’t pester us in the due month, you will be the first to hear the news when we have something exciting to share Lastly, I thought it would be fun to share all my estimated due dates: NHS Dating Scan Due Date – 29th September (based upon baby measurements and 40weeks) My Own Estimate Due Date – 04th October (based upon conception date and 40weeks) French Due Date – 13th October (based upon first day of last period and 41 weeks) As you can see the difference is a window of 2 weeks. Hence why I will be refusing induction at 41weeks (6th October), as id technically only be 2 days past my own estimate due date. Plus, with planning a home birth, induction is not an option for me if all is going well and to plan. My last pregnancy went 6 days past my estimated NHS scan date, will be interesting to see when our little girl decides to make her grand entrance to the world. One things for sure, I won’t be expecting labour to start spontaneously on my estimated NHS due date. Due dates are nothing more than an estimated guess. I did an internet search this morning on the meaning of Motherhood. The definition being ‘the state or time of being a mother’. But for me, being a mum is so much more than giving birth or caring full time for children. Being a mum brings out the best in you. I’ve always considered myself a caring person, but not to the extend I am today. I show kindness, empathy and generosity daily. I guess you could say my son has taught me to become the best possible version of myself. Being a mum is tough, there are days you want to scream in frustration and you find yourself counting down the minutes till bedtime. It’s probably the hardest non-paying job out there. But through the darkest of days when they are displaying the most dramatic tantrum yet, you just know there’s a little precious moment nearby waiting to happen. Precious treasured moments for me are the silly little things. Like when my son asks me if I’m feeling well or need to see a doctor (he is obsessed with the doctors). If I would like to have his bogey on my arm for a wee while, or when he randomly gives me a cuddle which I hadn’t asked for. I laugh a lot more than I ever have in life when he is around and the wrinkle lines forming around my eyes are most definitely due to all the smiling I do in his presence. The one feeling I hate which motherhood brings, is guilt. I feel guilty for not giving him chocolate when he asks, or telling him there’s no more haribo, even when I know perfectly well there is cupboard full. For feeling too tired and not taking him to the park on the day he asked, or not letting him wear the same dinosaur t-shirt 2 days in a row. Being a mum teaches you responsibility and selflessness. The relationship we share is so unique and unlike any other. The type of love where you would go without things, just so he can have whatever he likes and be happy. I love that I’m the one he wants to console him when he gets hurt. I love that he chooses to come through to my side of the bed every morning to wake me up (well sometimes). I love how he watches me cleaning and starts to copy. I love how he can make me proper belly laugh that I let out a little snort. With baby number 2 fast approaching a new feeling of guilt is gradually building inside me. The guilt of having to share my love and time. Soon my bump is going to become too big for picking him up and giving him proper cuddles. There’s going to be a lot of new changes and challenges in our daily life, but what I know for sure, is that the bond I have with him will never be broken. He will always be my first born, the one who made me who I am today, my sweet handsome boy. For me, being mum is not only the best job in the world, it’s a gift and a privilege. My husband and I are having disagreements over girl baby names. Who knew that agreeing on a name would be this difficult? It might have been easier selecting a name, had the baby been another boy. It seems all suggestions I make are immediately laughed off or dismissed as a definite no. Thank goodness we have started thinking about names this early on, as it seems like an impossible task right now. My husband doesn’t make any suggestions, only refusals. The initial name I suggested, was laughed about for near 10 minutes, much to my surprise. I love the name Madeline, but I have been told that under no circumstances will this name ever be an option, due to the highly-publicized abduction of Madeleine McCann 10 years ago. Which in my opinion is completely ridiculous given it happened 10 years ago. There has been one name I suggested, which he agreed is ok. Now all names are being sized up to that one suggestion. I do like it and its always been up there on my list of top 10 names, but never a first choice. So now I am on the search to try and find a name I like more than that one, which hopefully he could see as a possibility. If we can get at least 3 names agreed on then I’ll be happy. I know I wouldn’t be growing this baby inside me if it wasn’t for my husband after all it takes two people to create life. But I can’t help feeling more entitlement to name choice than he is. I am the one who must endure near 10months of pregnancy, not forgetting the labour and birth parts. The feelings of upset looking my body post birth and the hardships of vaginal birth recovery. Finally, having to be strict with food and exercise for near 6 months to try and get my body back in some sort of fit shape to feel happy and confident again. It’s hard not to get upset over your top 5 names being instantly dismissed. Especially when there has been no tact about it. I can’t help but feel id be more accepting of each refusal had he been politer as opposed to rude about it. I guess we all have our own preferences over names though. I feel he should maybe come up with at least 1 suggestion every time he shoots down a name. Hopefully sometime soon we come across a few names we both agree on so I can stop endlessly searching baby names on the internet. After a bit of googling Its become apparent that most couples experience name disagreements so we aren't alone. Apart from the name disagreements, all is well in life just now. This week is a rather quiet one, with no real plans so I hope to get lots of rest. I’ve really impressed myself that I have managed to avoid baby shopping completely. Someone once told me it was bad luck to do so before 20 weeks so I think this is subconsciously why I have held off making purchases. When I hit the 20-week mark I plan to start looking in to getting organised for a planned homebirth. I need to book hire of a birthing pool, purchase sheets to cover the floor and try to source a birth photographer. I’ve already placed a booking enquiry at the dog hotel so our furry family member will hopefully be away on her holidays when the special time arrives. Little bit of an update since my last post. We have celebrated my sons 3rd birthday with a party, I’ve been inundated with people’s comments over my gender announcement and I’ve started back at prenatal yoga classes. On Sunday 16th It was Max’s 3rd birthday. I had the local public hall hired on the Saturday with 19 children attending. This was the first year I have hired a child entertainer and it was by far the best decision I have ever made. Highly recommend Lisa Lollypop if you are based in Aberdeen / Aberdeenshire. For £200 she supplied a bouncy castle, face painting, an hour of fun party games (which the kids loved) and then made each child an animal balloon while they ate their party food. The kids seemed to love her, and joined in on all the games. It completely took the stress off me. I must admit my attempt at getting kids to do pass the parcel the past few years have been sheer awful. There was also no need to worry about music or prizes for games as she supplied the lot. Since my gender announcement I’ve been told countless times how girls are completely different from boys and I’ll have my work cut out for me. So, I decided to question some of my mummy friends who have either all boys or all girls, to hear if they found them both similar or completely opposite to deal with. My findings were as I suspected, each baby / child is different, they all have their own personalities despite being raised the exact same. I feel it also comes down to how your pregnancy and birth went also. I’ve started reading an interesting book about how a mother’s emotions and experiences during pregnancy effect the unborn child in later life. A book I highly recommend reading if you are currently pregnant. So, to those parents that have children of each gender, please know that no two children are ever the same, love them individually for their own unique little ways. Oh and its probably best to keep those comments to yourself, id but it right up there with unnecessary dramatic horror birth stories. Pregnant ladies do not need to or want to hear this sort of nonsense. My husband has been super busy at work the past month or so. Working near every evening and most weekends, which means of course I have been house bound. Beginning to feel like I have cabin fever being stuck in the house alone at nights once max is in bed. Last week had been particularly challenging as Max was demonstrating a whole ray of emotions. Usually I can quite easily ignore angry outbursts and brush them off but lately I have been suffering from a -10 patience level. I think I spent most of the weekend raising my voice at my poor son. It wasn’t till supper time on Sunday when Max was sitting on the toilet and decided to lean back and spray my trousers with urine that I realised just how shouty I had been. ‘Mummy stop shouting at me’, he said with a bottom lip out and watery eyes. My heart literally broke in two. Definitely been failing at optimum parenting skills lately. However, the past few days we have had a great time together and I have forced myself not to be irritated by the slightest thing. Pregnancy is so much more challenging when you already have a child. Which I'm sure is the same for motherhood, when you add a newborn to the mix. On a completely different note, the horrible intense pregnancy dreams have started back up again. They completely ruin an already uncomfortable night’s sleep. So far, I have punched a lady in Sainsbury’s over a 1st class stamps argument, then my more recent dream saw me birth my baby girl at home, to then realise that she had male genitals where her right hand should have been. She literally had a penis instead for a hand!! In these dreams, I tend to say and do things, which I wouldn’t normally. It has me waking up in a panic and sweat, which then results in another trip to the toilet since I’m awake. Why do all the non-fun pregnancy issues start earlier on in subsequent pregnancies? I started feeling baby moving around 16 weeks this pregnancy, whereas last time I didn’t feel anything till 23 weeks. There’s nothing more magical than feeling the first few flutters of your baby wriggling inside. The best bit about pregnancy is experiencing these precious moments together and not having to share your baby with anyone else. I always feel so much more in tune with my babies once I know the gender. You can really connect with them and the bonding definitely begins in the uterus, not after birth. Recommendations: Children Entertainer Lisa Lollypop – www.lisalollipop.com Book ‘The Secret Life of the Unborn Child’ – Thomas Verny, M.D., with John Kelly IT’S A …..
Beyond delighted to share the news that we are expecting a baby GIRL in October. Never, for one moment did I expect my hopes and dreams to become reality. Saturday certainly turned into an emotional moment at the scanning clinic, watery eyes then pure excitement, I still can’t stop smiling. To be in the position of having both a boy and a girl is truly amazing, I feel like the luckiest lady alive. I think after your first baby you automatically assume the second will be of the same gender, as its all you know. The excitement of pregnancy has now ramped up more notches, I can’t wait to start thinking and shopping all things PINK! My husband was right both times with gender guesses. He was convinced this time we were having a girl (probably as he figured he wasn’t lucky enough to save money by recycling my son’s baby clothes haha). Unlike me, he didn’t have a gender preference but did experience a little surprise come the gender reveal. I guess maybe he was apprehensive on how our son would take the news, considering he doesn't tend to play with girls much. However he was over that in minutes and super happy for me (probably because he wouldn’t have to deal with me on a downer the rest of the day). The sonographer took her time at the scan, checking numerous times. She didn’t say anything for a good 3 minutes, but I could already tell it was a girl and I literally held my breath waiting for her to say the 3 words I was desperate to hear. She confirmed that baby was a girl and there were no boy parts whatsoever and 3 clear lines could be seen. Apparently, this indicates a girl. The baby wouldn’t lie in a good position for a pretty side profile photo, so the sonographer switched the scanner to 4D and gave us lots of 4D photos away with us. As the ones in 2D looked a bit freaky. When we arrived back home we announced the gender to our son Max. My folks were at the house looking after him as my dad was busy wall papering the new playroom. We put a couple of pink balloons into a box and explained to Max that if the balloons inside were blue it means that the baby in mummies tummy is a boy, and pink meant the baby is a girl. It was moment I had hyped up in my head which ended up being a big anti-climax. Well, he opened the box up, picked up a pink balloon and just sort of threw it down. He then picked up the next balloon and started hitting it up in the air and jumping around, completely oblivious of the gender announcement. The video turned out quite funny, given his less than interested reaction. There isn’t too much we have to buy for a girl. Just a case of changing the blue hood on the pram, foot muff and carrycot cover to grey or pink. Oh and purchasing a new moses basket. Mostly all the onesies I have in the loft are all blue since we knew the gender first pregnancy, so I will get the opportunity to buy some small pretty pink things. The sceptical side of me still questions if the gender is a dead cert, as you hear so many stories about sonographers getting it wrong. I guess its not long till the 20 week scan, so all I can do is wait until then for further reassurance. In the meantime, I'm happy as a pig in muck! Sharon X It’s rarely talked about, but gender disappointment is a real thing and it happened to me.
First time round I was convinced I was having a girl as I wanted a girl. It was a huge shock for me when the sonographer pointed out the obvious penis displayed on screen. It had never occurred to me that I’d have a boy and the biggest shock was still to come, the huge feeling of disappointment which immediately consumed my heart. I felt ashamed of my sadness and incredibly guilty. the amount of people out there that battle infertility issues and here was me feeling gutted over the gender of my perfect baby. The news finally sunk in a few weeks later. I started to accept the fact that at some point I would become one of those mums, you know, the ones you see standing at the side-lines watching and cheering their sons on at football games. I absolutely hate football by the way! This pregnancy I couldn’t imagine having a girl and the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind in the first few weeks. I fully expected the baby to be a boy again. I was just delighted to be pregnant given it took 2.5 years to get my husband to agree to a second child. Its not that he didn’t want another, he simply had his sensible head on. I’m glad we did wait, when baby arrives my son will have just started the school nursery, so I will get alone time with the baby each day. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine had seen my dating scan photos and announced that going by ‘The Nub Theory’ I was having a baby girl. Having no idea what the nub theory was all about, I decided to do a bit of googling. I then added myself to some Nub Theory guess pages on Facebook, where I uploaded my scan photos and they all guessed girl too. I quickly felt excitement levels rising. Unfortunately, I find myself now back yearning for a girl again. I’d like to think that this time round I will be happy whatever the gender, but a small part of me worries that history will repeat again. I'm Really annoyed I considered the nub theory and opened my mind to the possibility of having a girl. I’ve been weighing up the pros and cons for each gender. If it’s a boy we save a bit of money as everything we have is already blue. But if baby is a girl, we need to buy a full wardrobe of clothes, change the colours on the pram and moses basket, along with numerous other items. In four more days, the wondering will all be over as the gender scan will reveal all. I feel excited but also extremely nervous to how I will take the news should I be shown a penis on screen again. My advice for people who have a gender preference, is not to consider the Nub Theory, Skull Theory, online gender quizzes, baking soda or heart rate gender predictions and any old wives’ tales for that matter. There’s no sense getting your hopes up. At the end of the day there is a 50 / 50 chance of pink or blue. Most people know I’m secretly hoping for a girl again now. The worst thing for me, should I be expecting another little prince, will be people saying ‘there is always next time’, or simply pointing out the positives of having another boy. When really, I’d rather not speak at all about the gender, should the outcome not sway in my preference. Grieving the loss of a dream is tough and no one should feel guilty about it. You must accept reality and give yourself plenty of time for the dust to settle. I’ve read people can suffer depression over gender disappointment. Thankfully it didn’t go near as far as that for me, but I can totally understand why it would bring on depression in others. There will be people reading this post thinking ‘bloody hell, just be happy you’re pregnant’, and I get that. I truly do feel lucky to be in this position again, growing a beautiful little person inside me. But the reason I created this blog in the first place was to put my thoughts down in writing. I promised myself to be open and honest over controversial topics. I ask that you spare me judgement and shaming, I am simply being honest and speaking about what most women wouldn’t dare say aloud. At the end of the day, preference is completely irrelevant and goes right out the window when it comes to the birth of your baby. I know for me, I wouldn’t change my son for the world, he was and still is, PERFECT! Even if I’m made to attend football in future, or take a turn washing his team mates stinky dirty kits. I will always love him more than life itself. Sharon x AKA the football hater I’m sure telling a toddler that another baby is on the way must be a concern for most parents. Wondering how they will react and if they will even understand. I like to consider myself quite highly organised and even when I first found out I was pregnant, I was already thinking ahead to how I would share the special news with our son. I settled on the idea of reading him several books about babies, then telling him that mummy had a baby in her belly. I had singled it down to a Topsy and Tim book called ‘The New Baby’ and ‘Big Brothers Are the Best’. Topsy and Tim were books my grandma use to read my sister and I when we were young, so It was only fitting that this was one of my books of choice. I intended to film the moment as knowing my son, he would give a cute funny reaction and I knew my parents would want to see the reaction also. Unfortunately for us, this moment was never meant to be. Last Wednesday started like any other Wednesday. I spent the day in front of the laptop replying client emails, then did the nursery pick up. We had been home for around an hour and Max was quietly sitting eating his tea when suddenly, he turned, looked me straight in the eye and curiously asked ‘Mummy, you have a baby in your belly?” Turns out a lady at nursery had told him just that. My heart sank, it was a think fast moment. I decided to just be honest about the news and say yes to avoid any further confusion or upset. After all, it was my fault for posting the announcement on Facebook in the first place. The photo did appear like max already knew, as he was holding the scan photos up to the camera, but in fact he was completely oblivious, I had simply bribed him to hold them up and copy my silly face. I had stated at the bottom of my announcement post that max hadn’t yet been told the news despite the photos. So far, Max has asked about the baby every day. All positive nice things which is lovely, but the repetition is starting to grate on me now. It’s like when I made the mistake of telling him he is having a birthday party 6 weeks before the actual event, he mentions it still and there is another 2 weeks to go till the actual party. The past 4 days have been tough going. My husband has his own business and is currently super busy, working each evening till near midnight and weekends. A few weeks of this wouldn’t usually be a big deal but add pregnancy into the mix and I feel like I’m experiencing a living hell. Currently my mood and emotions are very much up and down. I’m over 14 weeks pregnant, feeling exhausted daily, irritation levels are off the charts and to top it off, I’m having dizzy spells and seeing stars each time I stand up due to my low blood pressure. This might sound like a self pity party and I guess it is a bit. With Max only in nursery 2 days a week, the past 4 days have been spent entertaining him as best I can on my own. Full respect and shout out to all the single parents out there, parenting on your own full time must be seriously challenging. I’ve had max into town shopping for a dinosaur top, out to restaurants for lunch, to various toy shops, garden centres, to Halfords for a new bike, to Crathes Castle for forest walks with friends and a visit to my mums. I’ve endured nightly battles at bedtime trying to settle him (daddy’s the best at the bedtime routine), which has usually ended in me lying next to him for over an hour until he finally drifts into a deep sleep. My hormones have me currently feeling like I’m at breaking point, which yes, I know sounds extremely dramatic. and there has been tears shed. My ultimate hate just now is being told to go for a sleep or to bed early when I’m feeling tired. Most mums will understand my reasons for staying up late despite being tired, or why I choose not to nap on the days Max is in nursery. These are the only moments I get time to myself. It’s a chance to watch TV programmes which aren’t ‘The Lion Guard’ or ‘Blaze and the Monster Machines’. Yes, I may well live to regret that decision most mornings, especially when I’m woken at 7am by a high-pitched voice, swiftly followed by a toy animal being squished into my face. But for now, having time to myself is priority over sleep. We all need a bit of ‘me time’ now and then, a point of the day when you get to be yourself, not mummy and just switch off. Sometimes I think about how great it would be to work full time again and focus solely on something else during the day then reap the benefits of being Max’s favourite parent at night like my husband. But then I think of all I would miss out on. The battles of trying to dry and straighten my hair in the mornings with a screaming toddler hanging off my leg desperate to be lifted. The battle of getting him to eat his breakfast in the mornings, brushing his teeth and getting him dressed. The random meltdown moments throughout the day when I leave his side to try sneak a visit to the toilet alone, cook him a meal or let the dog out for a pee. The regular moments he falls, gets hurt and I must spend 30minutes trying to console him and kiss him better. Yes, these are hellish moments at the time, but id absolutely miss them if they were gone tomorrow. Final thoughts of the day: 1 – Don’t share baby announcements on Facebook unless you have informed your first born of their promotion to big brother. 2 – Don’t feel guilty about enjoying alone time. 3 – Cherise all the toddler tough moments, they’re not little for long and life’s far too short. 4 – Appreciate all you have, nothing comes close to how important family is. If you are still reading this and have enjoyed my post, then clearly my terrible grammar and punctuation hasn’t put you off and for that I thank you. Much Love Sharon There is so much controversy over new mums transforming their bodies so soon after birth. Being a mum who did just that, I’d like to share my opinion on this topic. I applaud all mums who take any step to improve their body image and lifestyle, however big or small. I feel it’s extremely important for women to feel confident in their own skin. When you experience insecurity over a body hang up after birth, this can lead on to ignite various other issues in the future. · Effect relationships with partner and baby · Self-loathing · Daily negative mind-set · Comfort eating · Depression · Anxiety Before I go any further I wish to make it clear that a post baby body transformation should never have a time frame placed upon it. The key focus should always be on the health and happiness of the mum, her baby and the rest of the family. I believe it’s possible to safely restore your body’s function while at the same time getting healthy, strong and waving goodbye to the maternal fat gain. My first pregnancy wasn’t an enjoyable experience, despite sailing through with very little aches and pains. Yes, I was delighted to be expecting a baby but found myself struggling to embrace the changes which my body undertook. After my son arrived, I only felt worse about my appearance and felt this enormous pressure to snap back into shape like all the celebrities on TV and also given how I looked prior to pregnancy. I hated the body I was left with. Some mums post quotes on social media saying ‘I earned my stripes’, I would read these empowering words but simply unable to identify with them. I was fortunate not to gain any stretch marks through pregnancy, but the extra maternal weight gain, deflated spongy bump, larger butt and wider thighs were definitely making me feel down and not myself. I missed my abs so much (as vain and terrible as it sounds). For my post baby transformation, I employed the help of an online coach who I had met the year previous at a fitness expedition. If I was going to get back in shape I needed a solid support network, someone I could be accountable too and someone who would be my voice of reasoning (knowing all too well how harsh I can be on myself). Online coaching is also much more cost effective than meeting a personal trainer for a one to one session in the gym. The biggest tip I could give to anyone who is struggling with fat loss after having a baby, is to pass the responsibility and planning over to the professionals. I signed up initially for a 12-week online training and nutrition package to get me started, which then saw me completing a subsequent 8 weeks to achieve a level of happiness with my physique. I made my gym debut 6 weeks post birth, however had already been doing light resistance training 1-2x per week at home, along with long daily pram walks. Throughout my 20 weeks of online coaching support, I only trained 3 sessions per week at the gym, alongside 1 cardio session which was added in around week 7 on plan. I would prep my meals for the week ahead every Sunday evening, and I would religiously stick to my set food intake. I was hugely judged on my healthy lifestyle during my post baby transformation, which still astonishes me. Making small social sacrifices to create happiness within my own skin was an easy choice for me to make. In the early days, I did avoid local mother and baby groups, but just so I didn’t have to make excuses for not eating cakes and biscuits and being singled out by those happy to indulge in tasty treats. I will admit for the first 3months on my plan I banned my husband from eating chocolate and crisps in front of me. If he wished to indulge in treats then he had to go into the kitchen and be discreet about it. That might sound crazy to most or even a little extreme, but the theory of 'out of sight out of mind' really worked for me. Being the supportive husband he is, Clark happily obliged and supported this request and I thank him hugely as it was a great help and a key to my success. Always limit temptations! I didn't become a loner as I did still met up with my friends, but usually just for coffee dates, as I found it so much easier to avoid deviating from plan by avoiding eating out. The nutrition plan was fully flexible, which meant I could select my own food choices as long as I hit my set daily macronutrient targets (protein, fat and carbohydrates). I won’t lie, being organised and following a plan so soon after birth was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done, but also one of the best decisions I have ever made. I felt so confident seeing the physical changes in my body each week and feeling happy and positive daily, despite the sleepless nights. It wasn’t the plan which challenged me, as everyone has the time to exercise and cook (despite what they say), it’s the sleep deprivation which is the biggest barrier for new mums and was definitely my main struggle. When you’re sleep deprived you become irritated, emotional, fatigued and generally just become an all round Debbie Downer. No one likes a Debbie Downer! The main negative I experienced on my first post baby transformation was the judgement of others around me. I was not prepared for how uncomfortable my eating habits would make others feel. I was eating well over 2000 calories per day through a healthy balanced intake of wholefoods, yet still asked when I would be eating proper food again and informed I made others feel bad about themselves for losing my baby weight so quickly. People seem to think doing very low calorie diets and doing copious amounts of cardio will get them that skinny beach ready body, but in fact this couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes a low calorie intake will inevitably bring about a big initial weight loss but this isn’t a sustainable healthy way of eating or living. Results will quickly plateau and the only way to push things on further is by doing more exercise or eating even less food which becomes dangerous. Its not calories or carbohydrates that make people gain weight, you just simply need to eat healthier, watch your portion sizes and move a little more daily. Finding a balance between energy intake and energy output is crucial. There’s a huge lack of basic nutrition education out there. Personally, I’d like to see schools educating young children in the importance of nutritious dense foods in their diets, but that’s a rant for another day. When clients contact me looking for support to get back into shape soon after having a baby, I fully support their decision and help them achieve their goals. Just because you become a mum doesn’t mean you can no longer achieve the body you once had or want. There are personal trainers out there that don’t promote quick post-natal body transformations, but when you have a support network in place, a flexible plan, work within your own limitations and don’t set a timeframe, then I see no issues at all starting a plan when you feel ready to do so. We are all different, no one size fits all. A post-natal plan should be fully customised for everyone based upon their personal circumstances. Generic plans won’t cut it. It can take as long as 6 months to 1 year for a lady to feel like herself again after giving birth so not everyone is physically well or ready to commit to making changes so soon. We hear so much about fat shaming in the media but very little on body shaming and bully that goes on for people who are in good shape or currently living a healthy lifestyle. I feel people that eat healthy are singled out way more than those who choose not to care what they are putting into their bodies. I found this personally was the case for me when I worked in an office environment for many years. It gets annoying when you’re constantly asked why you don’t want pizza, a pie, or cake when there’s a birthday or someone leaving, as a simple no thanks never seems to be a satisfying answer. I think it made those around me feel a bit guilty regarding their own eating habits hence why making me seem odd for not having, may have made them feel better about themselves. My advice is to never start a plan if you are not ready to fully commit. Have a precise goal in mind but also lots of little achievable smaller goals ones along the way. Find a personal trainer that you can connect with, who supports your goals and proposes a sustainable plan which will support your home life and commitments. I plan on getting back in touch with my coach before summer to pre-secure my online monthly coaching space post baby number 2. To me this is just as important as the birth itself. If I’m not happy, then baby isn’t happy and neither is the rest of the family. Be kind to yourself and those around you. Never judge or body shame, you don’t know what battles people are going through or their personal circumstances. Roll on Post Baby Transformation number 2. Its going to be so much harder this time with having a 3 year old and also battling with winter months, but I know I will give it my all. Sharon x Not sure where to begin, since this is my first blog post, I guess I should touch on what this lifestyle blog is about. I will be blogging about my second pregnancy journey, the birth and general life happenings.
People say that parenthood changes you and for me it wasn’t just a switch up in daily routine but a huge revaluation of my life and what I wished to achieve. In 2014 my son Max was born and my life dramatically changed, in more ways than I ever could have imagined. Things which were once important to me no longer seemed significant. That is a subject I will touch more on within future blog posts. Myself and my husband now have ‘The Fear’, something which all parents know too well. It’s that maternal worry you constantly feel. Life becomes so much more precious and the fear of something happening to your perfect little family unit, literally scares the bejesus out of you. I am currently 13 weeks’ pregnant and this time round, the first trimester has been incredibly tough. Constant feelings of nausea and fatigue along with various aches and pains have been really challenging. Last pregnancy I worked full time in the oil industry where I sat on my butt for 9hours of the day. But this time round I’m constantly on the go, entertaining my 2-year-old son and an 8year old German Shepherd (who we are still waiting on to calm down and mature). It’s safe to say I haven’t seen much of the gym lately and only just recently getting back into it. The best I could manage for a while was home workouts and lots of long dog walks. I felt a bit guilty being a personal trainer and skipping proper structured gym workouts, especially considering I currently have pregnant clients managing to soldier on and get all their workouts complete each week. But not all pregnancies are the same and this is certainly true in my case. Ever since I got that positive result on the pregnancy test in January, all I can think about is the birth and wishing it was sooner. I'm probably one of the small percentages of people who actually enjoyed their labour and birth. My son Max was born at Montrose Maternity Unit in a birthing pool. It truly was an experience which I will never forget. It was a 7 hour, straight forward, natural labour and birth with no interventions. I'm a huge believer of the importance in educating yourself on childbirth and knowing all your options as it definitely builds confidence, removes fears and anxieties. How can people expect to have a positive birthing experience without a well thought out birth plan and being fully informed of pros and cons for possible interventions? On a complete different note (bit of a rant), why is it females seem to think it’s acceptable and their rightly duty to share horror birth stories with pregnant women? At least this time round I won’t need to put up with such stories with it being my second pregnancy. After hearing numerous traumatic births during my first pregnancy, I was surprised and fortunate to hear a lovely birthing story from a work colleague which opened my eyes to the possibility that birth didn’t need to be a dreaded painful event which required medical supervision and intervention. This inspiring lady had recently given birth to her third child in the comfort of her own home using HypnoBirthing techniques. Had she not shared her positive birthing experience with me, then I may not be writing this blog post today and most definitely wouldn’t be running ‘Bump Birth Beyond’. I was around 20 weeks pregnant when I took ownership and prepared for the birth I longed to have. My first step was purchasing the Marie Mongan HypnoBirthing book. My second step was signing up for HypnoBirthing lessons with a Marie Mongan qualified practitioner. I soon felt empowered and confident and started counting down the days to labour. Second time round, the excitement for birthing day has reached an ultimate high already. I certainly won’t be making the 52mile drive to Montrose while being around 7-8cms dilated, instead the plan is to have a home birth and hire a birthing pool. If all goes to plan, this will be filmed, photographed and heavily documented on. I had my NHS scan last week and to say I was disappointed would be an understatement. Having had private scans in the past (early scanning / gender scans) I came away feeling rather deflated despite all seemingly well with baby. The sonographer explained that my uterus was positioned at an awkward angle therefore she was struggling to get accurate measurements of the baby and clear photos. This also meant that she couldn't do the down syndrome screening measurements, but stated that in her opinion all looked well, which was no reassurance for me. After around 4 or 5 ordered trips to the toilet to slightly empty my bladder a little more (which made no odds to the quality of image on the screen) I was then told I was 13 weeks pregnant instead of 12 (which is nonsense as I know my dates as the baby was planned and very much wanted). I'm now looking forward to my private gender scan which hopefully is a more enjoyable experience. Thanks for reading, I ask that you please be forgiving of all spelling and grammar boo-boos. I do not have an editor and posts will be written as and when I feel I have worthy, interesting content. Finally, a special thank you to Laurie Cowie for inspiring me and sharing her beautiful HypnoBirthing story with me back in 2014. I'm very excited to experience it all over again with baby number 2. |
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September 2017
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