I’m sure telling a toddler that another baby is on the way must be a concern for most parents. Wondering how they will react and if they will even understand. I like to consider myself quite highly organised and even when I first found out I was pregnant, I was already thinking ahead to how I would share the special news with our son. I settled on the idea of reading him several books about babies, then telling him that mummy had a baby in her belly. I had singled it down to a Topsy and Tim book called ‘The New Baby’ and ‘Big Brothers Are the Best’. Topsy and Tim were books my grandma use to read my sister and I when we were young, so It was only fitting that this was one of my books of choice. I intended to film the moment as knowing my son, he would give a cute funny reaction and I knew my parents would want to see the reaction also. Unfortunately for us, this moment was never meant to be. Last Wednesday started like any other Wednesday. I spent the day in front of the laptop replying client emails, then did the nursery pick up. We had been home for around an hour and Max was quietly sitting eating his tea when suddenly, he turned, looked me straight in the eye and curiously asked ‘Mummy, you have a baby in your belly?” Turns out a lady at nursery had told him just that. My heart sank, it was a think fast moment. I decided to just be honest about the news and say yes to avoid any further confusion or upset. After all, it was my fault for posting the announcement on Facebook in the first place. The photo did appear like max already knew, as he was holding the scan photos up to the camera, but in fact he was completely oblivious, I had simply bribed him to hold them up and copy my silly face. I had stated at the bottom of my announcement post that max hadn’t yet been told the news despite the photos. So far, Max has asked about the baby every day. All positive nice things which is lovely, but the repetition is starting to grate on me now. It’s like when I made the mistake of telling him he is having a birthday party 6 weeks before the actual event, he mentions it still and there is another 2 weeks to go till the actual party. The past 4 days have been tough going. My husband has his own business and is currently super busy, working each evening till near midnight and weekends. A few weeks of this wouldn’t usually be a big deal but add pregnancy into the mix and I feel like I’m experiencing a living hell. Currently my mood and emotions are very much up and down. I’m over 14 weeks pregnant, feeling exhausted daily, irritation levels are off the charts and to top it off, I’m having dizzy spells and seeing stars each time I stand up due to my low blood pressure. This might sound like a self pity party and I guess it is a bit. With Max only in nursery 2 days a week, the past 4 days have been spent entertaining him as best I can on my own. Full respect and shout out to all the single parents out there, parenting on your own full time must be seriously challenging. I’ve had max into town shopping for a dinosaur top, out to restaurants for lunch, to various toy shops, garden centres, to Halfords for a new bike, to Crathes Castle for forest walks with friends and a visit to my mums. I’ve endured nightly battles at bedtime trying to settle him (daddy’s the best at the bedtime routine), which has usually ended in me lying next to him for over an hour until he finally drifts into a deep sleep. My hormones have me currently feeling like I’m at breaking point, which yes, I know sounds extremely dramatic. and there has been tears shed. My ultimate hate just now is being told to go for a sleep or to bed early when I’m feeling tired. Most mums will understand my reasons for staying up late despite being tired, or why I choose not to nap on the days Max is in nursery. These are the only moments I get time to myself. It’s a chance to watch TV programmes which aren’t ‘The Lion Guard’ or ‘Blaze and the Monster Machines’. Yes, I may well live to regret that decision most mornings, especially when I’m woken at 7am by a high-pitched voice, swiftly followed by a toy animal being squished into my face. But for now, having time to myself is priority over sleep. We all need a bit of ‘me time’ now and then, a point of the day when you get to be yourself, not mummy and just switch off. Sometimes I think about how great it would be to work full time again and focus solely on something else during the day then reap the benefits of being Max’s favourite parent at night like my husband. But then I think of all I would miss out on. The battles of trying to dry and straighten my hair in the mornings with a screaming toddler hanging off my leg desperate to be lifted. The battle of getting him to eat his breakfast in the mornings, brushing his teeth and getting him dressed. The random meltdown moments throughout the day when I leave his side to try sneak a visit to the toilet alone, cook him a meal or let the dog out for a pee. The regular moments he falls, gets hurt and I must spend 30minutes trying to console him and kiss him better. Yes, these are hellish moments at the time, but id absolutely miss them if they were gone tomorrow. Final thoughts of the day: 1 – Don’t share baby announcements on Facebook unless you have informed your first born of their promotion to big brother. 2 – Don’t feel guilty about enjoying alone time. 3 – Cherise all the toddler tough moments, they’re not little for long and life’s far too short. 4 – Appreciate all you have, nothing comes close to how important family is. If you are still reading this and have enjoyed my post, then clearly my terrible grammar and punctuation hasn’t put you off and for that I thank you. Much Love Sharon
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September 2017
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