Little bit of an update since my last post. We have celebrated my sons 3rd birthday with a party, I’ve been inundated with people’s comments over my gender announcement and I’ve started back at prenatal yoga classes. On Sunday 16th It was Max’s 3rd birthday. I had the local public hall hired on the Saturday with 19 children attending. This was the first year I have hired a child entertainer and it was by far the best decision I have ever made. Highly recommend Lisa Lollypop if you are based in Aberdeen / Aberdeenshire. For £200 she supplied a bouncy castle, face painting, an hour of fun party games (which the kids loved) and then made each child an animal balloon while they ate their party food. The kids seemed to love her, and joined in on all the games. It completely took the stress off me. I must admit my attempt at getting kids to do pass the parcel the past few years have been sheer awful. There was also no need to worry about music or prizes for games as she supplied the lot. Since my gender announcement I’ve been told countless times how girls are completely different from boys and I’ll have my work cut out for me. So, I decided to question some of my mummy friends who have either all boys or all girls, to hear if they found them both similar or completely opposite to deal with. My findings were as I suspected, each baby / child is different, they all have their own personalities despite being raised the exact same. I feel it also comes down to how your pregnancy and birth went also. I’ve started reading an interesting book about how a mother’s emotions and experiences during pregnancy effect the unborn child in later life. A book I highly recommend reading if you are currently pregnant. So, to those parents that have children of each gender, please know that no two children are ever the same, love them individually for their own unique little ways. Oh and its probably best to keep those comments to yourself, id but it right up there with unnecessary dramatic horror birth stories. Pregnant ladies do not need to or want to hear this sort of nonsense. My husband has been super busy at work the past month or so. Working near every evening and most weekends, which means of course I have been house bound. Beginning to feel like I have cabin fever being stuck in the house alone at nights once max is in bed. Last week had been particularly challenging as Max was demonstrating a whole ray of emotions. Usually I can quite easily ignore angry outbursts and brush them off but lately I have been suffering from a -10 patience level. I think I spent most of the weekend raising my voice at my poor son. It wasn’t till supper time on Sunday when Max was sitting on the toilet and decided to lean back and spray my trousers with urine that I realised just how shouty I had been. ‘Mummy stop shouting at me’, he said with a bottom lip out and watery eyes. My heart literally broke in two. Definitely been failing at optimum parenting skills lately. However, the past few days we have had a great time together and I have forced myself not to be irritated by the slightest thing. Pregnancy is so much more challenging when you already have a child. Which I'm sure is the same for motherhood, when you add a newborn to the mix. On a completely different note, the horrible intense pregnancy dreams have started back up again. They completely ruin an already uncomfortable night’s sleep. So far, I have punched a lady in Sainsbury’s over a 1st class stamps argument, then my more recent dream saw me birth my baby girl at home, to then realise that she had male genitals where her right hand should have been. She literally had a penis instead for a hand!! In these dreams, I tend to say and do things, which I wouldn’t normally. It has me waking up in a panic and sweat, which then results in another trip to the toilet since I’m awake. Why do all the non-fun pregnancy issues start earlier on in subsequent pregnancies? I started feeling baby moving around 16 weeks this pregnancy, whereas last time I didn’t feel anything till 23 weeks. There’s nothing more magical than feeling the first few flutters of your baby wriggling inside. The best bit about pregnancy is experiencing these precious moments together and not having to share your baby with anyone else. I always feel so much more in tune with my babies once I know the gender. You can really connect with them and the bonding definitely begins in the uterus, not after birth. Recommendations: Children Entertainer Lisa Lollypop – www.lisalollipop.com Book ‘The Secret Life of the Unborn Child’ – Thomas Verny, M.D., with John Kelly
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IT’S A …..
Beyond delighted to share the news that we are expecting a baby GIRL in October. Never, for one moment did I expect my hopes and dreams to become reality. Saturday certainly turned into an emotional moment at the scanning clinic, watery eyes then pure excitement, I still can’t stop smiling. To be in the position of having both a boy and a girl is truly amazing, I feel like the luckiest lady alive. I think after your first baby you automatically assume the second will be of the same gender, as its all you know. The excitement of pregnancy has now ramped up more notches, I can’t wait to start thinking and shopping all things PINK! My husband was right both times with gender guesses. He was convinced this time we were having a girl (probably as he figured he wasn’t lucky enough to save money by recycling my son’s baby clothes haha). Unlike me, he didn’t have a gender preference but did experience a little surprise come the gender reveal. I guess maybe he was apprehensive on how our son would take the news, considering he doesn't tend to play with girls much. However he was over that in minutes and super happy for me (probably because he wouldn’t have to deal with me on a downer the rest of the day). The sonographer took her time at the scan, checking numerous times. She didn’t say anything for a good 3 minutes, but I could already tell it was a girl and I literally held my breath waiting for her to say the 3 words I was desperate to hear. She confirmed that baby was a girl and there were no boy parts whatsoever and 3 clear lines could be seen. Apparently, this indicates a girl. The baby wouldn’t lie in a good position for a pretty side profile photo, so the sonographer switched the scanner to 4D and gave us lots of 4D photos away with us. As the ones in 2D looked a bit freaky. When we arrived back home we announced the gender to our son Max. My folks were at the house looking after him as my dad was busy wall papering the new playroom. We put a couple of pink balloons into a box and explained to Max that if the balloons inside were blue it means that the baby in mummies tummy is a boy, and pink meant the baby is a girl. It was moment I had hyped up in my head which ended up being a big anti-climax. Well, he opened the box up, picked up a pink balloon and just sort of threw it down. He then picked up the next balloon and started hitting it up in the air and jumping around, completely oblivious of the gender announcement. The video turned out quite funny, given his less than interested reaction. There isn’t too much we have to buy for a girl. Just a case of changing the blue hood on the pram, foot muff and carrycot cover to grey or pink. Oh and purchasing a new moses basket. Mostly all the onesies I have in the loft are all blue since we knew the gender first pregnancy, so I will get the opportunity to buy some small pretty pink things. The sceptical side of me still questions if the gender is a dead cert, as you hear so many stories about sonographers getting it wrong. I guess its not long till the 20 week scan, so all I can do is wait until then for further reassurance. In the meantime, I'm happy as a pig in muck! Sharon X It’s rarely talked about, but gender disappointment is a real thing and it happened to me.
First time round I was convinced I was having a girl as I wanted a girl. It was a huge shock for me when the sonographer pointed out the obvious penis displayed on screen. It had never occurred to me that I’d have a boy and the biggest shock was still to come, the huge feeling of disappointment which immediately consumed my heart. I felt ashamed of my sadness and incredibly guilty. the amount of people out there that battle infertility issues and here was me feeling gutted over the gender of my perfect baby. The news finally sunk in a few weeks later. I started to accept the fact that at some point I would become one of those mums, you know, the ones you see standing at the side-lines watching and cheering their sons on at football games. I absolutely hate football by the way! This pregnancy I couldn’t imagine having a girl and the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind in the first few weeks. I fully expected the baby to be a boy again. I was just delighted to be pregnant given it took 2.5 years to get my husband to agree to a second child. Its not that he didn’t want another, he simply had his sensible head on. I’m glad we did wait, when baby arrives my son will have just started the school nursery, so I will get alone time with the baby each day. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine had seen my dating scan photos and announced that going by ‘The Nub Theory’ I was having a baby girl. Having no idea what the nub theory was all about, I decided to do a bit of googling. I then added myself to some Nub Theory guess pages on Facebook, where I uploaded my scan photos and they all guessed girl too. I quickly felt excitement levels rising. Unfortunately, I find myself now back yearning for a girl again. I’d like to think that this time round I will be happy whatever the gender, but a small part of me worries that history will repeat again. I'm Really annoyed I considered the nub theory and opened my mind to the possibility of having a girl. I’ve been weighing up the pros and cons for each gender. If it’s a boy we save a bit of money as everything we have is already blue. But if baby is a girl, we need to buy a full wardrobe of clothes, change the colours on the pram and moses basket, along with numerous other items. In four more days, the wondering will all be over as the gender scan will reveal all. I feel excited but also extremely nervous to how I will take the news should I be shown a penis on screen again. My advice for people who have a gender preference, is not to consider the Nub Theory, Skull Theory, online gender quizzes, baking soda or heart rate gender predictions and any old wives’ tales for that matter. There’s no sense getting your hopes up. At the end of the day there is a 50 / 50 chance of pink or blue. Most people know I’m secretly hoping for a girl again now. The worst thing for me, should I be expecting another little prince, will be people saying ‘there is always next time’, or simply pointing out the positives of having another boy. When really, I’d rather not speak at all about the gender, should the outcome not sway in my preference. Grieving the loss of a dream is tough and no one should feel guilty about it. You must accept reality and give yourself plenty of time for the dust to settle. I’ve read people can suffer depression over gender disappointment. Thankfully it didn’t go near as far as that for me, but I can totally understand why it would bring on depression in others. There will be people reading this post thinking ‘bloody hell, just be happy you’re pregnant’, and I get that. I truly do feel lucky to be in this position again, growing a beautiful little person inside me. But the reason I created this blog in the first place was to put my thoughts down in writing. I promised myself to be open and honest over controversial topics. I ask that you spare me judgement and shaming, I am simply being honest and speaking about what most women wouldn’t dare say aloud. At the end of the day, preference is completely irrelevant and goes right out the window when it comes to the birth of your baby. I know for me, I wouldn’t change my son for the world, he was and still is, PERFECT! Even if I’m made to attend football in future, or take a turn washing his team mates stinky dirty kits. I will always love him more than life itself. Sharon x AKA the football hater I’m sure telling a toddler that another baby is on the way must be a concern for most parents. Wondering how they will react and if they will even understand. I like to consider myself quite highly organised and even when I first found out I was pregnant, I was already thinking ahead to how I would share the special news with our son. I settled on the idea of reading him several books about babies, then telling him that mummy had a baby in her belly. I had singled it down to a Topsy and Tim book called ‘The New Baby’ and ‘Big Brothers Are the Best’. Topsy and Tim were books my grandma use to read my sister and I when we were young, so It was only fitting that this was one of my books of choice. I intended to film the moment as knowing my son, he would give a cute funny reaction and I knew my parents would want to see the reaction also. Unfortunately for us, this moment was never meant to be. Last Wednesday started like any other Wednesday. I spent the day in front of the laptop replying client emails, then did the nursery pick up. We had been home for around an hour and Max was quietly sitting eating his tea when suddenly, he turned, looked me straight in the eye and curiously asked ‘Mummy, you have a baby in your belly?” Turns out a lady at nursery had told him just that. My heart sank, it was a think fast moment. I decided to just be honest about the news and say yes to avoid any further confusion or upset. After all, it was my fault for posting the announcement on Facebook in the first place. The photo did appear like max already knew, as he was holding the scan photos up to the camera, but in fact he was completely oblivious, I had simply bribed him to hold them up and copy my silly face. I had stated at the bottom of my announcement post that max hadn’t yet been told the news despite the photos. So far, Max has asked about the baby every day. All positive nice things which is lovely, but the repetition is starting to grate on me now. It’s like when I made the mistake of telling him he is having a birthday party 6 weeks before the actual event, he mentions it still and there is another 2 weeks to go till the actual party. The past 4 days have been tough going. My husband has his own business and is currently super busy, working each evening till near midnight and weekends. A few weeks of this wouldn’t usually be a big deal but add pregnancy into the mix and I feel like I’m experiencing a living hell. Currently my mood and emotions are very much up and down. I’m over 14 weeks pregnant, feeling exhausted daily, irritation levels are off the charts and to top it off, I’m having dizzy spells and seeing stars each time I stand up due to my low blood pressure. This might sound like a self pity party and I guess it is a bit. With Max only in nursery 2 days a week, the past 4 days have been spent entertaining him as best I can on my own. Full respect and shout out to all the single parents out there, parenting on your own full time must be seriously challenging. I’ve had max into town shopping for a dinosaur top, out to restaurants for lunch, to various toy shops, garden centres, to Halfords for a new bike, to Crathes Castle for forest walks with friends and a visit to my mums. I’ve endured nightly battles at bedtime trying to settle him (daddy’s the best at the bedtime routine), which has usually ended in me lying next to him for over an hour until he finally drifts into a deep sleep. My hormones have me currently feeling like I’m at breaking point, which yes, I know sounds extremely dramatic. and there has been tears shed. My ultimate hate just now is being told to go for a sleep or to bed early when I’m feeling tired. Most mums will understand my reasons for staying up late despite being tired, or why I choose not to nap on the days Max is in nursery. These are the only moments I get time to myself. It’s a chance to watch TV programmes which aren’t ‘The Lion Guard’ or ‘Blaze and the Monster Machines’. Yes, I may well live to regret that decision most mornings, especially when I’m woken at 7am by a high-pitched voice, swiftly followed by a toy animal being squished into my face. But for now, having time to myself is priority over sleep. We all need a bit of ‘me time’ now and then, a point of the day when you get to be yourself, not mummy and just switch off. Sometimes I think about how great it would be to work full time again and focus solely on something else during the day then reap the benefits of being Max’s favourite parent at night like my husband. But then I think of all I would miss out on. The battles of trying to dry and straighten my hair in the mornings with a screaming toddler hanging off my leg desperate to be lifted. The battle of getting him to eat his breakfast in the mornings, brushing his teeth and getting him dressed. The random meltdown moments throughout the day when I leave his side to try sneak a visit to the toilet alone, cook him a meal or let the dog out for a pee. The regular moments he falls, gets hurt and I must spend 30minutes trying to console him and kiss him better. Yes, these are hellish moments at the time, but id absolutely miss them if they were gone tomorrow. Final thoughts of the day: 1 – Don’t share baby announcements on Facebook unless you have informed your first born of their promotion to big brother. 2 – Don’t feel guilty about enjoying alone time. 3 – Cherise all the toddler tough moments, they’re not little for long and life’s far too short. 4 – Appreciate all you have, nothing comes close to how important family is. If you are still reading this and have enjoyed my post, then clearly my terrible grammar and punctuation hasn’t put you off and for that I thank you. Much Love Sharon |
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September 2017
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