Just over a few months of pregnancy left, thank goodness! I’m so over the big belly, aches, pains and general tiredness. Although I’ve breezed through both my pregnancies if I could fast forward from conception to birth then I would. A lot of women love being pregnant, but as I’ve said in previous posts, I’m certainly not one of them. Give me the screaming, sleepless new born stage any day of the week. I've been feeling mentally drained recently. I’ve been extremely forgetful, unsociable and walking around in a daze. I’ve managed to put the cheese grater in the fridge, forgotten coffee catch ups, driven in autopilot to the wrong destinations and even went through a speed camera slightly above the speed limit, I now await my first speeding fine and likely penalty points. Been reading a lot of mummy forums lately and taken back by all the harsh comments and judgements by others. It seems that we live in a society now where people feel it’s acceptable and their rightly duty to shame other mums on parenting methods that differ from their own. From bottle making methods, toddler meal choices, nap frequency, discipline, right through to toilet training, there will always be mums judging other mums on their parenting methods. The internet seems to give people a pass to be complete as$$holes to others. These so called ‘Perfect Super Mums’ probably wouldn’t say boo to a ghost while away from the safety of their internet devices. The way I see it, everyone does what they feel is best for their families. A prime example, would be the judgement I myself was given as a new mum. My son was only around 8 or 9 weeks old when I first moved him into his own room within his big cot. Most advice online recommends keeping babies sleeping next to you for up to 6 months but this was not practical or working for us. Between Max’s baby noises, our movements and sleep patterns we constantly disturbed one another. I felt the need to peek into his moses basket each time I heard the slightest noise or when I moved to a more comfortable position. Almost instantly as soon as max was in his big cot with more room to wriggle around and no noise disturbance from us, we all started sleeping so much better. My son has always been a fantastic sleeper and slept all night from a very early age so we have been very lucky. We had an excellent video monitor which allowed us to see and hear him at all times, along with a movement sensor pad under the mattress. As you can imagine our sleeping set up was highly judged by other parents who kept their child sleeping with them from 6months right up to 2 years old. We did what was best for us as a family. I have no regrets and will likely do the same again with our eagerly awaited baby girl. Shaming mums on their individual parenting choices is sadly a daily reality online. It drives me up the wall. I now refrain from seeking advice on forums, as it only leads to personal upset, worry and guilt. It’s very overwhelming with so many conflicting views on the ‘best’ way to raise a child. So what if my 3 year old is a fussy eater and still on night nappies. Every child is different and what method works for one family might not work for another. We all do the very best as parents and if the best isn’t good enough for these opinionated online ‘Super Mummies’ with their optimum parenting methods, then I say screw them! Thankfully we don’t often hear comments made by family and friends who scrutinizing our choices, but keyboard warriors present on online forums never hold their opinions back. Don’t compare yourself to others, motherhood is a constant learning curve full of daily challenges. Each day presents new skills to learn, it’s a huge lifestyle change for first time mums. You’re already doing a fantastic job, your child’s alive, give yourself a huge pat on the back and try let the judgement and opinions of others slide.
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I’m now 28 weeks pregnant and my bump seems to be growing at a nice steady pace. This girl is a very active one and constantly on the move, even keeping me in a little discomfort at times. However, never again will I complain about being woken in the mornings or kept awake late at night after my scare on Tuesday. It was around 11am when it first dawned on me, I hadn’t felt any movement since I had gone to bed, which was very unusual. She moves all the time and most frequently in the mornings and late afternoon through to bed time. I know her movement patterns as it’s been the same daily for the past 10 weeks. I then tried drinking ice cold water and even a spoon of ice cream to trigger a kick but nothing. I called up my midwife for some reassurance but couldn’t get through so decided to phone up the hospital where I was asked to come in and be checked. I spent around 30mins sitting on a reclined bed in the day assessment clinic having the babies heart rate monitored and pushing a button every time I felt any slight movement. Typically, as soon as I had the pads strapped around my bump she started moving. I was then lucky enough that they could do a scan straight after which also confirmed all was well. I feel so relieved having the extra reassurance and very glad I made the decision to get checked out to put my mind at ease. I do have a home droppler which I used a couple of times in my first pregnancy, but opted not to use it in case I couldn’t locate a heart rate, or worse, mistakenly found my own and then stupidly put off going in to get checked properly. The findings of the scan showed baby is measuring 1 day behind the estimated due date I was given at 12 weeks and is currently lying in a transverse presentation, with her head on my right side. After my 20week scan I had breech presentation in the back of my mind, but now she is lying transverse I find myself googling like crazy, it’s all I can think about despite knowing that baby is still moving around a lot just now. As you know, if the baby isn’t head down by 36 weeks my decision for homebirth will not be supported my local midwives, resulting in my ultimate fear, a HOSPITAL BIRTH! Still plenty of time to move into a head down position though (or so I keep telling myself). Although with each day and week that passes, I am aware the space inside my uterus is getting smaller, making it more difficult and unlikely she will turn. I am now following all the advice and recommendations for turning a transverse baby on the ‘Spinning Babies’ website and doing all the positions and exercises daily to help aid a head down position, it gives me plenty to focus on. I’m using the forward-leaning inversion 5-7 times per day for around 40seconds. I will stop this when baby moves and I feel kick location change. The purpose of this position is to create room in the lower uterus. Helping baby to turn. Yup, I am one crazy lady worrying at this stage about baby positioning, but I would rather feel like I’m actively doing something than just waiting around and hope for the best. I will do everything in my power to ensure the best chances of having another positive birth. I strangely feel like I owe it to this baby to give her just as calm and gentle entrance to the world as my son received. Max didn’t get pulled from me screaming, I picked him out the water gently myself. Babies birthed in water don’t tend to cry (something which I don’t think much people are aware of). He was very alert though and immediately gazing up at me looking quite content. Think I have a fair bit of work to do, getting my head around the idea of planning for other scenarios, like a hospital birth / C-section. YIKES! Other than the hospital visit on Tuesday, all is going well. I don’t feel as tired as I did in the first and second trimester and feel like I am now on the home run and count down already. Just need to get that darn spare room gutted and decorated along with buying baby essentials. Almost 1 week down of the kids summer holidays, 6 weeks and a bit left of entertaining a 3 year old solo......SOMEONE HELP ME! Ha-ha. Although this week hasn't been too bad, we have done some fun things, involving a trip into town, lunch dates and also a visit to the circus with friends. This morning was eventful. I thought it would be a great idea to try and film ideas for a 3rd trimester stretch out incorporating some yoga moves, however max had over plans as you can see from the photo below. Blooper video to be posted on the FB page very soon! Sharon x When I tell people, I used HypnoBirthing for my son’s labour and birth, I tend to get odd looks. There are so many misconceptions to what it is and what is involved. To this day, I am still taken back by the amount of people who don’t educate themselves on birth or do any research into their birthing options. Most accept it’s not going to be a nice experience and happy enough to rock up at the hospital and hope for the best. However, HypnoBirthing is not a hippy method of birth, which it is so often perceived as. You do not need to opt for a home or water birth to achieve one. HypnoBirthing techniques can be adapted to all surroundings and even applied to caesareans births. HypnoBirthing programmes teach deep relaxation, self-hypnosis, special breathing techniques, visualisation, affirmations and birth education. When you are properly prepared for birth physically, and mentally, it means you’re able to birth in ease, comfort and most importantly without fear. The advantages are endless, but here are a few I personally feel are important: · Reduces and often eliminates the need for interventions · Eliminates Fear-Tension-Pain syndrome before, during and after birth · Lessens fatigue during labour, leaving you feeling fresh and energised · Can shorten the thinning and opening phase of labour · Reduces risk to pelvic floor damage by breathing the baby down as opposed to forced pushing Having knowledge gives you confidence to embrace, enjoy, and relax into birth, which ultimately leads to a positive outcome. An important part of the HypnoBirthing programme is releasing all limiting thoughts to ensure a calm birth. Whether that’s a previous birth trauma, concerns over finance, relationships or simply the act of birth itself. Currently, I’m trying to release my own stress and fears in preparation for birth. I have 3 concerns now which are causing me a bit of worry; 1. Feeling unprepared for baby, having yet to still decorate the nursery and buy all the new-born essentials. 2. Breech/Transverse presentation. My midwife has informed me that my plan for a home birth will go out the window should the baby not be head down at 36 weeks. 3. Retained placenta. I experienced this last time, which resulted in getting out the birth pool 45mins after birth, to have a midwife manually remove my placenta by tugged on the umbilical cord. It was the only negative experience of my birth. I’m hoping to catch up soon with a fellow HypnoBirthing teacher to talk though my concerns. Hopefully we get the chance to go through some hypnosis fear releasing scripts to help put issues 2 and 3 to rest. I will have to nag the husband to clear my number one concern though. Each day I have been setting aside 20minutes to practice deep relaxation. During this time, I have been listen to the HypnoBirthing rainbow relaxation CD, trying to achieve that deep relaxed feeling, in a shorter space of time. This means when my labour advances I can quickly get my body into a state of ultimate deep relaxation. You don’t need to necessarily have a birthing partner for HypnoBirthing. For my first born, I had my sister as my HypnoBirthing partner, who came to the lessons with me. However, she didn’t do any of the homework, didn’t read much of the hypnobirthing book and did zero practice with me prior to the birth. I was very much in it alone, which was completely fine as I had put a lot of practice into deep relaxation and visualisations, I was confident in all the breathing techniques and had been taking prenatal yoga which really helped with labour and birthing positions. I went on to have a fantastic birth and id go as far to say it was enjoyable. This time round, I can’t see my husband being interested in learning or having an active role in my birth again. I’m fully prepared to ride the labour and birth solo, with him simply being a spectator, frequently passing me water. To be honest, from my previous experience, I’m better off zoning out, having no one fuss over me or do any of the duties a hypnobirthing partner takes on. I know my body and I feel I’m best to go within myself and block everyone else out. Talking annoys me, I vaguely remember telling my husband and sister off for chatting throughout one of my uterine surges (contractions) last time. There’s a point to mention, in HypnoBirthing the language used is completely changed from standard medical terminology into a non-threatening logical word. For example, the word ‘pain’ is not used and instead replaced by the words ‘pressure, sensation, and tightening’. ‘Complications’ is changed to ‘special circumstances’, and the likes of ‘mucous plug’ is swapped out for ‘uterine seal’. All vocabulary is swapped to a gentler non-threatening word that evokes comfortable emotions, rather than fear and confusion. It’s important that your care providers are aware you are having a HypnoBirth and use the correct vocabulary around you throughout. I fully recommend anyone who is pregnant to consider HypnoBirthing lessons. Even just reading the book can change your perceptions on birth and build confidence in your body’s ability. I’m currently not taking on any HypnoBirthing clients throughout my pregnancy, but if you are interested in signing up for lessons then please do get in touch and I can give you contact details of practitioners living in your area. Useful Links: HypnoBirthing – The Mongan Method (4th edition) https://wordery.com/hypnobirthing-marie-f-mongan-9780757318375?cTrk=NTQwNjM4NzZ8NTk1YWM0ZTUxMGE4ZjoxOjM6OjUxZDI2MmY3 HypnoBirthing Institute Website https://us.hypnobirthing.com/ |
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September 2017
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