Its been a while since I last wrote a blog post, life’s been busy with Orla arriving and I’ve been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster.
I didn’t mention on my birth story post, but 2 days prior to labour, we sadly had to say goodbye to our fur baby. Mindy was a beautiful German Shepherd who was near 8 years old, we had had her since she was pup. Mindy and I shared a love hate relationship throughout the years. She was always a scally of a dog despite attending puppy and junior training school and she still acted like a puppy right up to her last moments. She would bark and whine constantly in the house, go bananas with excitement when people visited and more frustratingly, refuse to come in from the garden on recalls. When we welcomed our son Max into our life’s back in 2014, Mindy went through a spell of depression. They dynamics in our pack had changed, she had to adapt to her new position, which sadly she struggled with. These last 18months were particularly hard for her and I. With my husband’s workload hugely increasing and Max becoming more boisterous and physical with her and my pregnancy. She started showing signs of aggression towards us which was a huge worry. Her behaviour rapidly changed in the house. She started jumping baby gates to enter dog free zones, snapping when contact was made with her collar and her patience levels for Max were virtually non-existent. With Max now of age where he can confidently move around the house himself, I was stressed and panicking daily at keeping them separate to avoid Max being hurt. Even out in the garden Mindy would knock him over, snap at him and more recently try and drag him around by his clothes. It was then I knew it was time for Mindy to go before someone got badly hurt. She had previously bitten my husband (unintendedly) which caused him excruciating pain, and had snapped and bitten vets. She was then being exercised less and less as I was pregnant and a big dog pulling on the lead while barking and lunging at other dogs was not ideal in my condition. The less exercise she got the worse she got in the house. I spent this whole year pushing my husband to consider rehoming her, which fell on deaf ears. With the impending arrival of Orla, I felt fearful of what life would be like in the house, how could I possibly keep an eye on all 3 at the same time and ensure the dog got interaction and long walks daily. As you know, I had a home birth. Mindy had been booked into the Dog Hotel in Huntly (her usual holiday destination) since early March. Unfortunately, she only lasted 2 days there and I received a dreaded email from the owner informing us that she had bitten 2 of her staff and drawn blood. Devastated at her behaviour, but mostly the terrible timing. She simply could not be in the house while I laboured, and there were no family or friends willing to take her on for a while. Clark grudgingly spent a whole morning phoning around countless organisations to find somewhere willing to take Mindy on until she could be rehomed. Unfortunately, due to her showing aggression and biting, nowhere would take her on. Most places told my husband she would need to be put to sleep. Feeling rather shocked, he phoned our vets for a second opinion and some advice. Based upon us having small children at home and the fact they knew our dog had bitten a few vets and was getting aggressive, they confirmed that the right thing to do would be to put Mindy to sleep. There was no one we knew who would take her on, we had to make a fast decision with the babies impending arrival, so the difficult heart-breaking decision was made. Two and a half hours after the call, the vet arrived at our house to put Mindy to sleep. I wasn’t there at the time of her passing, as a parent I thought it more responsible to shield our son from the sadness and take him out to a play barn while the procedure took place. My husband was left to deal with the horrific scenes himself. It wasn’t until a day or so after that he finally was able to share her final moments with me. An evening that had us both bawling our eyes out. We now live with an over powering feeling of guilt. Mindy was in good health and possibly only halfway through her life expectancy. Yes, she caused us constant bickering and give me daily stress, but I did love the bones off that dog. Waking up to snow recently really hurt. Each year with first snowfall Mindy would race around the garden, jumping and bounding about like a dafty. We miss her so much, I feel so terrible how negatively I use to talk about her to others. I’d do anything to rewind time and enjoy her again. OUR BEAUTIFUL MINDY The house is empty now you are gone Food drops on the floor, but your wet nose is there no more When someone comes by, there’s no barks now, which makes me cry It’s all over now, you are truly gone Somehow, we will find a way, to try and carry on Love you always Mum x
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It was Friday 6th October, (my husband’s birthday) we spent the morning at Aberdeen Maternity Hospital having an ultrasound scan, along with a chat to the doctor. I had reached 41 weeks of pregnancy, so it was a requirement to have baby checked to delay induction. The scan showed all was well with baby so off we went to the antenatal clinic to discuss my plans with the doctor. What a disaster that turned out to be, the doctor was completely against our wishes to hold off induction (or at least delay until I reached 42 weeks). She tried scaring us by saying we were putting the baby at risk, strangely she was unable to rattle off actual statistics to back up her claims. It was a very upsetting morning where I found myself haggling with the doctor over induction dates. I could liken it to buying a car, it was horrendous! In the end she went ahead and booked me in for induction on Wednesday 11th (41 weeks + 5 days according to their dates) which I had zero intention of turning up for. I knew my conception date, my cycle and ovulation dates (this baby was planned) there was no way I would be accepting induction when in my eyes the baby wasn’t due till 6days after their estimate date. I ended up accepting the offer of an examination just to get out of there and in the hope that I was already dilating. Thankfully she informed me I was around 2.5cms dilated. The doctor suggested I may go into labour prior to the scheduled induction. I left the hospital deflated and in tears. I knew I’d be faced with some resistance refusing induction but just didn’t anticipate how condescending and rude the doctor would be. She did not listen to my wishes at all and spent the entire time interrupting and talking over me. My brief experience of care at Aberdeen Maternity was a negative one, it makes me so glad that I went to Montrose for my first birth, then opting for a home birth with second. That afternoon my community midwife called to see how I got on at the hospital which was exactly what I needed. She lifted my spirits and helped me think positively again. Her advice was to put the trip to the hospital at the back of my mind and have a relaxing evening. She mentioned that she was on call that night and I instantly hoped that things would kick off. I went for a short power walk prior to collecting max from playgroup, and that seemed to release my uterine seal (I hate the use of the term mucus plug). Max was very hyper upon collection from playgroup and I had this strange urge to be away from him, so I arranged for him to have a sleepover at my mums. I guess looking back, I must have subconsciously known that baby’s arrival was somewhat close. At 7pm we were singing happy birthday to Clark and blowing out candles, by 2.25am Orla had made her eagerly awaited arrival. It was 7.30pm, Max had left, Clark was snoozing on the sofa and I was sitting bouncing on the gym ball laughing at Kevin Bridges stand-up comedy. I started to experience slight mild tightening in my lower stomach. It was faint and happening every 5-8 minutes. I then decided it was time to wake Clark and tell him what was happening. Around 8.45pm I messaged my birth photographer to let her know that tonight was the night. By that time my surges (contractions) were around 5 minutes apart and lasting 1 minute. I nipped upstairs into a shower and shaved my legs (yup, that’s right, my priority in labour was to make sure I didn’t have stubbly legs). I decided to call Peterhead maternity hospital at 9.25pm to notify the on call midwifes that I was labouring at home. By this time my surges were 2.5-3 minutes apart but still completely manageable and causing me no discomfort. At 9.41pm one of the on call midwifes called me back to see how I was feeling and to ask if I would like one of them to pop round at that point. I felt I was coping well myself and said I would phone back when I felt the need for them. Kendall, our amazing birth photographer arrived at the house around 10.45pm and 10minutes later I decided it was time to call the midwifes round. I feel incredibly lucky to have had my own midwife on call for the birth. The chances of that happening were slim but it was clearly meant to be. Each time I had seen her for check-ups I always envisioned her being there for the birth. Getting into a pool can sometimes slow down labour progression, so I was holding off getting in, opting to instead labour leaning against the living room door frame, to sitting on my birthing ball. It wasn’t till midnight that I finally decided to get into the water. I felt the warmth of the water instantly relax me which I guess did slow down my surges a little. By 1am things were ramping up and I felt for the first time I was experiencing some discomfort. I was really having to concentrate on my breathing to get me through. I remember hearing a birth story at my pregnancy yoga class, where a girl had shared that she thought about words from our instructor telling her to enjoy every moment of it and let the process empower her, so this is what I clung onto and tried to focus on each surge bringing me closer to meeting my baby girl. My husband was playing a chill out playlist via apple music on his phone, several times it had come to the end and started playing more upbeat tunes, which had me snapping at him to get the nippy music changed. This would have been me in transition. I felt babies head was very low down for a while, but my surges just didn’t last long enough for my body to expel the baby. For the last 30 minutes or so my entire body started uncontrollably shaking. I also had to ask for a pot to be sick into. Looking at the video of my birth (yes, I did record it), the head seemed to be poking out and in for a good few minutes, which resulted in me asking if the head had already been born. Suddenly, I felt that stingy feeling as the head started to emerge. I completely forgot about the ring of fire feeling. Before I knew it, head was out, my midwife said her body should be delivered with the next contraction, however she only came out to her waist. My surges started to be ineffective and not lasting long enough to enable me to breath the baby down and out. I felt tired at this point and just wanted her out and in my arms. I heard Clark saying that baby’s eyes were wide open and looking up at them from the water. Instead of waiting for the next surge I put my hands into the water and between my legs and gently pulled the baby out the rest of the way and lifted her up onto my stomach. After being covered in towels and rubbed gently she let out her first cry and took her first breath. Orla Aitken was born at 2.25am weighing 7lbs1. We waited for cord to go white before cutting, which was listed on my birth plan. I was helped the pool and onto the sofa where I then delivered the placenta assisted by the midwife. Thankfully the wooden floors were covered with tarpaulin as my husband said I lost a bit of blood and the room resembled a bit like a murder crime scene when I got out the pool. Midwifes are like angels, the job they do and the care they provide for women is nothing short of incredible. I highly recommend home birth, there is no better feeling than being able to get into your own bed after going through labour and birth for snuggles with your baby. Yet again, the birth I had prepared for went exactly to plan. I had such a positive gentle and relaxing birth experience. So, when people say, ‘don’t bother making a birthing plan as it won’t go to plan’ take no notice. Just know the basics of what you want in any situation and stick to your guns. Recovery this time has been incredibly fast, but I’ll write a whole separate post about that. I managed to avoid tearing and by day 2 I felt back to my normal self. Our bodies are truly amazing, aren’t they? My advice for anyone currently pregnant and worried about birth, is to trust your body and follow its lead. Don’t be scared, our bodies are designed to birth and know exactly what to do when the time comes. Would I do it all over again……. Well, it’s still all a bit too fresh and raw in my mind, ask me in a few months’ time. Although Clark has already declared that we are done and there will be no more children. Who knows what the future holds, all I know is that my heart is bursting with love and I feel complete. Special thanks to my community midwife Gill. She kept me sane throughout pregnancy, supported my wishes and got me through labour and birth. She was nothing short of a superstar on the day and had such an incredible caring nature. I think I’d have another baby just so that I could have her as a midwife again. Huge thanks to my incredibly talented birth photographer Kendall. Cannot recommend her enough! Not only is she super lovely and an accent to envy, she was respectful throughout my birth. Half the time I wasn’t even aware of her being there, she was so discreet and snapped away in the background. I was so focused on breathing and relaxing that It wasn’t until I watched my birth video back that I heard the clicking of the camera. You can view more of her stunning photography on the following link: Simplygreenphotos.com I’d also like to thank my prenatal yoga instructor Lis. Her classes were the highlight of my week throughout pregnancy. Practising relaxation and breathing along with gentle stretching was so beneficial to my labour and birth. I will miss her classes and truly gutted that the post-natal class she runs is too close to playgroup pick up time meaning I am unable to attend. Pranamamayoga.co.uk Finally, I would like to thank my husband Clark. He has put up with a very hormonal crazy lady over the last 41 weeks. After near 11 years together, we now share 2 beautiful children and because of that I will forever love him (well when he isn’t being a pest at least). It’s sad knowing this will most definitely be my final pregnancy post. Today is my estimate due date so baby’s arrival is getting closer by the day. Some friends have been asking how I’m been feeling, the truth is, I’m feeling great, in fact probably the best I have been throughout this entire pregnancy. I’m sleeping all through the night, still feeling able bodied and my mindset has been positive. The trial run set up of the birthing pool has been done. It took just 10 minutes to inflate and around 35 - 40 minutes to fill. I had midwife yesterday, she was concerned I was still measuring around 37 weeks and that there had been no change over a period. She decided to refer me to hospital for a growth scan for peace of mind, especially since I am planning a home birth. It was a bit of a crazy rushed day having to phone playgroup and let them know Max wouldn’t be in, then drive him over to my parents and get a lift to the hospital since parking is still a complete nightmare there. Long story short, all is well. I don’t think very much of those growth scans if I’m honest. I know too many people that have been told they are having big babies or small babies via regular growth scans which have turned out not to be. I’ve spent the last 4-5 days on a cleaning and organising mission. Everything is now in place for baby’s arrival and it’s just a case of staying on top of cleaning and tidying daily. Ideally, I don’t want this baby arriving until Sunday 1st at the very earliest. That’s when our dog gets dropped off at the dog hotel in Huntly for 2 weeks. There would be nothing more stressful than having a disobedient, loud hairy dog around while in labour. I can’t remember if I mentioned in earlier blog posts, but currently in Aberdeenshire there are 5 of us planning imminent home births. One in Westhill, one in Turriff and a couple of ladies in Huntly. It’s quite a big area that the midwifes cover, so hopefully none of us go into labour at the same time as that would mean the person who phoned last would be encouraged to make the trip into hospital. I don’t want to ship max off for the day or night when the time comes. I 100% want him nearby (obviously not in the same room as I don’t want to traumatise my 3-year-old) but once the baby is born I want him taken straight through to see me and meet his baby sister. Its a special moment I want captured on camera. So, it’s a big ask to get someone to come to our house at the last minute to entertain max, feed him, take him out for a walk and generally just make sure all his needs are met. Even if things kick off at night while he is in bed sleeping, we are required to have someone in the house that can be there to care for max in the morning should I need to be transferred into hospital at any given time. In other news, playgroup pickups are becoming quite eventful lately due to Max’s story telling. It seems Max has taken to telling the ladies each day that his dog Mindy bites him. What an absolute embarrassment! The truth is, Max is extremely rough with our dog and constantly tries to hit her and steal her toys. Since she can be an unpredictable dog, I’m forever telling him to stay away from her or she will bite him. I spend every minute of every day making sure they don’t annoy one another, which is completely draining and hard work, but they can never be left alone for even a split second as I have zero trust in my dog. It’s even more challenging now that the dog has taken to jumping over the baby gates and pleasing herself around the house. The dog is my number one stress in daily life and in all honesty, I do not know what will happen come baby’s arrival. Having the dog return home when baby’s here fills me dread and worry. I really want to enjoy the newborn stage and make the most of it as it could be the last time we have a baby and they grow up so fast! I feel extremely ready for birth now. I’m excited and looking forward to labour and being closer to meeting my little lady. I guess my next blog post will be her birth story. Until then, thanks for reading and being forgiving of my grammar Sharon x I'm 38weeks pregnant and literally cannot believe how quickly these last few months of pregnancy have flown by. It’s a strange feeling knowing that I’m full term and baby could arrive anytime within the next 4 weeks or so. I’m not focusing on the NHS estimate due date, as I know the date in which we conceived. Going by that date I would turn 40 weeks a whole 1 week past the NHS date, which would make sense to why I’m measuring a bit smaller. NHS standardise all babies as being at a certain gestation period (age) going by specific measurements (which is ludicrous given all babies are different shapes and sizes – no one size fits all). Our bodies are all different, some women also have longer pregnancies than others, so I don’t think focusing on a specific date is very useful at all. Baby will come when she is good and ready. Everything is now in place for a homebirth. The birthing pool has arrived, I have collected the midwife home birthing kit from Peterhead, drugs are the in the fridge and gases are in the garage. Fire brigade have been notified of the gases in the event of a fire and the ambulance service will be made aware of the home birth and on standby once I’m labouring. There’s a lot of planning and organising that goes into homebirths and initially I felt a bit overwhelmed by it all, but everything has fallen into place with very little effort required on my part. Within the next few days we will be doing a trail run set up of the birthing pool. I think it’s a good idea to know exactly how long it’s going to take to set up and fill the pool for when the special time arrives. Being organised and leaving nothing unknown helps with building confidence and will create a stress-free atmosphere or so I hope. I don’t have a birthing plan written down this pregnancy, however in my notes I’ve stated I will be using hypnobirthing techniques and I have several requests during labour, birth and post birth. · Minimum conversation, hushed voices · Minimum examinations unless requested · Picking baby out of water myself · Optimum cord clamping · Skin to skin Final payment has been made to the birth photographer, so she will now be on standby for the birth. Will be so nice to have photos to look back on. I had very little photos taken of my son’s birth and I really wish there had been more. I’m also finally at peace with the possibility of my birth choices changing last minute in the event of an emergency, which could result in a clinical hospitalised birth. What will be will be. All I can do is stay positive and prepare and plan for all birthing scenarios. Last pregnancy I was solely focused on the birth and didn’t give much thought to what life would be like caring for a new-born. I did so much birth preparation classes, researching and educating myself on birthing history, facts, statistics and choices that I didn’t see far past the birth itself. So, when my son was born I felt immediately lost, in a daze and a sadness that labour and birth were over. I got the gentle natural birth I had planned so long for, but was out of my comfort zone in unknown territory as a new mum and this scared me. I did not experience that immediate bond and connection with my son. In fact, it took near a week or so to feel that special mother and baby connection and rush of overwhelming love for him. Looking back, it all stemmed from focusing months on ensuring his arrival was well thought out and planned, that I neglected the thought of actually being a mum and how life would change for me. This pregnancy has been different in every sense. Although I’m just as prepared birth wise, I fully know what to expect and have imagined what family life will be like with the new addition. Something I never gave much thought to first time round. My midwife phoned on Wednesday to see how I was feeling and check I have all kit for the birth at home. She told me she is only on call this month on the 20th and 26th. I really hope that when the time does come that I get my own specific midwife and not someone I haven't met before. I suspect baby will make an appearance early October but I guess only time will tell. I feel super excited to meet baby and cannot wait to go into labour and experience it all over again. Baby still remains nameless at present though. My sons slowly coming round to the idea of having a baby sister. Quite a few of his pals have little sisters which helps, he seems quite intrigued by them. However, this purely depends on his mood that day. He still shouts and declares that he doesn't want a baby sister and she is going straight into the bucket. I was also informed recently of him poking dolls in the eyes. Definitely need to be on top of my game post birth to ensure he doesn't feel left out, but most importantly isn't ever left alone for even 1 second with the baby. Thirty four weeks pregnant today and the vivid nightmares have returned. I decided to do a bit of research into pregnancy dreams and it turns out the reason why we have more vivid dreams, is due to waking more frequently throughout the night for toilet visits or having to change to a more comfortable position in bed. It just happens that we are waking during our REM (rapid eye movement) stage of sleep, this is typically when we dream. My dreams are more like nightmares. Recently I have rescued my son from falling off a cliff edge, jumped into fast flowing rivers to save him and then been chased and hunted down by a tiger in a jungle. Upon digging a little deeper online, I read that when you experience stress and anxiety throughout the day you are more likely to have bad dreams at night as emotions play a role. Therefore, vivid nightmares are more common among post-natal women due to the stress and anxiety which can be caused daily by becoming a new mum (I don’t look forward to that). I wouldn’t say that I have any fear or anxieties over birth just now but I guess I do still feel a bit stressed with daily life challenges, feeling tired and still not being organised for baby’s arrival. Hopefully that should change in the next week though with my son starting the school playgroup and final bits of furniture being set up in the nursery. I’m sure in my last update I mentioned about the babies positioning being transverse. Thankfully at my last midwife appointment she confirmed that baby is now head down. This was a huge relief, hopefully she stays put so a homebirth is still on the cards for me. I did feel a big shift in movement a few days prior to my appointment. I suddenly felt very weighed down and even questioned if I could potentially be at risk of a cervical prolapse (which is very rare and me being dramatic). Next week my wonderful midwife is coming for a home visit. This is usual practise when planning a homebirth. The midwife will have a look at where I plan to have the birthing pool, the space available for her to work and go through all necessary protocol and information. I’m trying to stay positive that I will get the birth I desire again; however, it doesn’t help when at each midwife appointment I’m told of possible obstacles which may prevent me birthing at home. For example, in my area there are only ever 2 midwifes on call at any given time. This means that if there are 2 women labouring at home, then the person who phoned first would get the homebirth support, and the other woman would need to make their way into the hospital. Apparently, this doesn’t happen very often, but I would be very disappointed and angry if this was the only reason to stop me when the time came. Hips and back have been achy lately, but seeing the Chiropractor every 2 weeks is helping minimise the discomfort and keeping me mobile. Why I never visited a Chiropractor till now is beyond me! We are no further on with baby names, I will have to resign to the fact that baby will be born nameless until one is agreed upon. Who knew it would be so hard to agree on a name? I don’t remember it being so hard last time around with boy names. We had 3 names from around the half way pregnancy point last time. We do have a couple of names which are 'maybes' but I’m aware they may not go down well with others. Not that I worry about pleasing people, but I suspect I would be able to tell right away by facial expressions and it would annoy me. With just 6 weeks left till my estimated due date I still have a lot to organise and buy for the homebirth, but I’m sure I will get there. This weekend I will be purchasing final items for the birth and packing my ‘just in case’ hospital bag. The final countdown is well and truly on. So over pregnancy, very much ready to meet our baby girl. I literally just see pregnancy as something you must endure to get a beautiful baby at the end. I’m aware women’s bodies are incredible at reproducing but knowing this fact doesn’t help me enjoy or embrace it anymore. I don’t enjoy feeling constantly fatigued, having to give up strenuous exercise at the gym, constantly thinking negative thoughts and most of all the body changes you go through and the constant feeling of being all alone throughout. I’ve barely seen any friends this pregnancy, so feeling like a billy no mates, which has really been getting me down as I love to socialise. It’s difficult to plan anything with the husband working most evenings and friends living in the city, I’m stuck in the house at nights with boxsets feeling like a caged animal. This is what happens when you move 20minutes outside the city centre, even family rarely come to visit (although this could be down to our daft hyper dog). I plan to attend lots of baby groups this time whilst my eldest is in playgroup and look forward to making more local mummy friends. Despite my moans, pregnancy is very much worth the end the result. Cannot wait to have a newborn baby again, super excited! The nursery is now painted and this weekend I plan to wash and iron baby clothes and hang them all up. My son is the only one not happy about the babies impending arrival. He has mentioned numerous times he doesn’t want the baby coming and he plans to put her in the bucket or kick her. So much for us thinking having another child when our first reached 3 years would mean life would be easier and he would be helpful. I will need eyes at the back of my head. Between keeping a constant eye on my son and the dog, and soon adding a baby to the mix, I certainly will have my work cut out for me. The dog is my main concern, she is by far the hardest to handle believe it or not. The kids holidays have finally come to a near end and it now seems like its passed in a blink of the eye. I feel like doing a celebration dance as I survived!! I initially dreaded 7 weeks of full time parenting myself while being so far on in pregnancy, especially with my son going through a difficult naughty stage, but time passed quicker than I thought. As always, please be forgiving of my grammar, I do not have an editor. Sharon x Just over a few months of pregnancy left, thank goodness! I’m so over the big belly, aches, pains and general tiredness. Although I’ve breezed through both my pregnancies if I could fast forward from conception to birth then I would. A lot of women love being pregnant, but as I’ve said in previous posts, I’m certainly not one of them. Give me the screaming, sleepless new born stage any day of the week. I've been feeling mentally drained recently. I’ve been extremely forgetful, unsociable and walking around in a daze. I’ve managed to put the cheese grater in the fridge, forgotten coffee catch ups, driven in autopilot to the wrong destinations and even went through a speed camera slightly above the speed limit, I now await my first speeding fine and likely penalty points. Been reading a lot of mummy forums lately and taken back by all the harsh comments and judgements by others. It seems that we live in a society now where people feel it’s acceptable and their rightly duty to shame other mums on parenting methods that differ from their own. From bottle making methods, toddler meal choices, nap frequency, discipline, right through to toilet training, there will always be mums judging other mums on their parenting methods. The internet seems to give people a pass to be complete as$$holes to others. These so called ‘Perfect Super Mums’ probably wouldn’t say boo to a ghost while away from the safety of their internet devices. The way I see it, everyone does what they feel is best for their families. A prime example, would be the judgement I myself was given as a new mum. My son was only around 8 or 9 weeks old when I first moved him into his own room within his big cot. Most advice online recommends keeping babies sleeping next to you for up to 6 months but this was not practical or working for us. Between Max’s baby noises, our movements and sleep patterns we constantly disturbed one another. I felt the need to peek into his moses basket each time I heard the slightest noise or when I moved to a more comfortable position. Almost instantly as soon as max was in his big cot with more room to wriggle around and no noise disturbance from us, we all started sleeping so much better. My son has always been a fantastic sleeper and slept all night from a very early age so we have been very lucky. We had an excellent video monitor which allowed us to see and hear him at all times, along with a movement sensor pad under the mattress. As you can imagine our sleeping set up was highly judged by other parents who kept their child sleeping with them from 6months right up to 2 years old. We did what was best for us as a family. I have no regrets and will likely do the same again with our eagerly awaited baby girl. Shaming mums on their individual parenting choices is sadly a daily reality online. It drives me up the wall. I now refrain from seeking advice on forums, as it only leads to personal upset, worry and guilt. It’s very overwhelming with so many conflicting views on the ‘best’ way to raise a child. So what if my 3 year old is a fussy eater and still on night nappies. Every child is different and what method works for one family might not work for another. We all do the very best as parents and if the best isn’t good enough for these opinionated online ‘Super Mummies’ with their optimum parenting methods, then I say screw them! Thankfully we don’t often hear comments made by family and friends who scrutinizing our choices, but keyboard warriors present on online forums never hold their opinions back. Don’t compare yourself to others, motherhood is a constant learning curve full of daily challenges. Each day presents new skills to learn, it’s a huge lifestyle change for first time mums. You’re already doing a fantastic job, your child’s alive, give yourself a huge pat on the back and try let the judgement and opinions of others slide. I’m now 28 weeks pregnant and my bump seems to be growing at a nice steady pace. This girl is a very active one and constantly on the move, even keeping me in a little discomfort at times. However, never again will I complain about being woken in the mornings or kept awake late at night after my scare on Tuesday. It was around 11am when it first dawned on me, I hadn’t felt any movement since I had gone to bed, which was very unusual. She moves all the time and most frequently in the mornings and late afternoon through to bed time. I know her movement patterns as it’s been the same daily for the past 10 weeks. I then tried drinking ice cold water and even a spoon of ice cream to trigger a kick but nothing. I called up my midwife for some reassurance but couldn’t get through so decided to phone up the hospital where I was asked to come in and be checked. I spent around 30mins sitting on a reclined bed in the day assessment clinic having the babies heart rate monitored and pushing a button every time I felt any slight movement. Typically, as soon as I had the pads strapped around my bump she started moving. I was then lucky enough that they could do a scan straight after which also confirmed all was well. I feel so relieved having the extra reassurance and very glad I made the decision to get checked out to put my mind at ease. I do have a home droppler which I used a couple of times in my first pregnancy, but opted not to use it in case I couldn’t locate a heart rate, or worse, mistakenly found my own and then stupidly put off going in to get checked properly. The findings of the scan showed baby is measuring 1 day behind the estimated due date I was given at 12 weeks and is currently lying in a transverse presentation, with her head on my right side. After my 20week scan I had breech presentation in the back of my mind, but now she is lying transverse I find myself googling like crazy, it’s all I can think about despite knowing that baby is still moving around a lot just now. As you know, if the baby isn’t head down by 36 weeks my decision for homebirth will not be supported my local midwives, resulting in my ultimate fear, a HOSPITAL BIRTH! Still plenty of time to move into a head down position though (or so I keep telling myself). Although with each day and week that passes, I am aware the space inside my uterus is getting smaller, making it more difficult and unlikely she will turn. I am now following all the advice and recommendations for turning a transverse baby on the ‘Spinning Babies’ website and doing all the positions and exercises daily to help aid a head down position, it gives me plenty to focus on. I’m using the forward-leaning inversion 5-7 times per day for around 40seconds. I will stop this when baby moves and I feel kick location change. The purpose of this position is to create room in the lower uterus. Helping baby to turn. Yup, I am one crazy lady worrying at this stage about baby positioning, but I would rather feel like I’m actively doing something than just waiting around and hope for the best. I will do everything in my power to ensure the best chances of having another positive birth. I strangely feel like I owe it to this baby to give her just as calm and gentle entrance to the world as my son received. Max didn’t get pulled from me screaming, I picked him out the water gently myself. Babies birthed in water don’t tend to cry (something which I don’t think much people are aware of). He was very alert though and immediately gazing up at me looking quite content. Think I have a fair bit of work to do, getting my head around the idea of planning for other scenarios, like a hospital birth / C-section. YIKES! Other than the hospital visit on Tuesday, all is going well. I don’t feel as tired as I did in the first and second trimester and feel like I am now on the home run and count down already. Just need to get that darn spare room gutted and decorated along with buying baby essentials. Almost 1 week down of the kids summer holidays, 6 weeks and a bit left of entertaining a 3 year old solo......SOMEONE HELP ME! Ha-ha. Although this week hasn't been too bad, we have done some fun things, involving a trip into town, lunch dates and also a visit to the circus with friends. This morning was eventful. I thought it would be a great idea to try and film ideas for a 3rd trimester stretch out incorporating some yoga moves, however max had over plans as you can see from the photo below. Blooper video to be posted on the FB page very soon! Sharon x When I tell people, I used HypnoBirthing for my son’s labour and birth, I tend to get odd looks. There are so many misconceptions to what it is and what is involved. To this day, I am still taken back by the amount of people who don’t educate themselves on birth or do any research into their birthing options. Most accept it’s not going to be a nice experience and happy enough to rock up at the hospital and hope for the best. However, HypnoBirthing is not a hippy method of birth, which it is so often perceived as. You do not need to opt for a home or water birth to achieve one. HypnoBirthing techniques can be adapted to all surroundings and even applied to caesareans births. HypnoBirthing programmes teach deep relaxation, self-hypnosis, special breathing techniques, visualisation, affirmations and birth education. When you are properly prepared for birth physically, and mentally, it means you’re able to birth in ease, comfort and most importantly without fear. The advantages are endless, but here are a few I personally feel are important: · Reduces and often eliminates the need for interventions · Eliminates Fear-Tension-Pain syndrome before, during and after birth · Lessens fatigue during labour, leaving you feeling fresh and energised · Can shorten the thinning and opening phase of labour · Reduces risk to pelvic floor damage by breathing the baby down as opposed to forced pushing Having knowledge gives you confidence to embrace, enjoy, and relax into birth, which ultimately leads to a positive outcome. An important part of the HypnoBirthing programme is releasing all limiting thoughts to ensure a calm birth. Whether that’s a previous birth trauma, concerns over finance, relationships or simply the act of birth itself. Currently, I’m trying to release my own stress and fears in preparation for birth. I have 3 concerns now which are causing me a bit of worry; 1. Feeling unprepared for baby, having yet to still decorate the nursery and buy all the new-born essentials. 2. Breech/Transverse presentation. My midwife has informed me that my plan for a home birth will go out the window should the baby not be head down at 36 weeks. 3. Retained placenta. I experienced this last time, which resulted in getting out the birth pool 45mins after birth, to have a midwife manually remove my placenta by tugged on the umbilical cord. It was the only negative experience of my birth. I’m hoping to catch up soon with a fellow HypnoBirthing teacher to talk though my concerns. Hopefully we get the chance to go through some hypnosis fear releasing scripts to help put issues 2 and 3 to rest. I will have to nag the husband to clear my number one concern though. Each day I have been setting aside 20minutes to practice deep relaxation. During this time, I have been listen to the HypnoBirthing rainbow relaxation CD, trying to achieve that deep relaxed feeling, in a shorter space of time. This means when my labour advances I can quickly get my body into a state of ultimate deep relaxation. You don’t need to necessarily have a birthing partner for HypnoBirthing. For my first born, I had my sister as my HypnoBirthing partner, who came to the lessons with me. However, she didn’t do any of the homework, didn’t read much of the hypnobirthing book and did zero practice with me prior to the birth. I was very much in it alone, which was completely fine as I had put a lot of practice into deep relaxation and visualisations, I was confident in all the breathing techniques and had been taking prenatal yoga which really helped with labour and birthing positions. I went on to have a fantastic birth and id go as far to say it was enjoyable. This time round, I can’t see my husband being interested in learning or having an active role in my birth again. I’m fully prepared to ride the labour and birth solo, with him simply being a spectator, frequently passing me water. To be honest, from my previous experience, I’m better off zoning out, having no one fuss over me or do any of the duties a hypnobirthing partner takes on. I know my body and I feel I’m best to go within myself and block everyone else out. Talking annoys me, I vaguely remember telling my husband and sister off for chatting throughout one of my uterine surges (contractions) last time. There’s a point to mention, in HypnoBirthing the language used is completely changed from standard medical terminology into a non-threatening logical word. For example, the word ‘pain’ is not used and instead replaced by the words ‘pressure, sensation, and tightening’. ‘Complications’ is changed to ‘special circumstances’, and the likes of ‘mucous plug’ is swapped out for ‘uterine seal’. All vocabulary is swapped to a gentler non-threatening word that evokes comfortable emotions, rather than fear and confusion. It’s important that your care providers are aware you are having a HypnoBirth and use the correct vocabulary around you throughout. I fully recommend anyone who is pregnant to consider HypnoBirthing lessons. Even just reading the book can change your perceptions on birth and build confidence in your body’s ability. I’m currently not taking on any HypnoBirthing clients throughout my pregnancy, but if you are interested in signing up for lessons then please do get in touch and I can give you contact details of practitioners living in your area. Useful Links: HypnoBirthing – The Mongan Method (4th edition) https://wordery.com/hypnobirthing-marie-f-mongan-9780757318375?cTrk=NTQwNjM4NzZ8NTk1YWM0ZTUxMGE4ZjoxOjM6OjUxZDI2MmY3 HypnoBirthing Institute Website https://us.hypnobirthing.com/ It’s been a few weeks since my last blog update. Life got crazy with work and then there was my sons chicken pox drama. This post is a bit random but please bare with me, I promise the next update will have more structure and a specific theme. So, I’m back being a full-time mum again for the first time since my son was 7 months old. We made the difficult decision recently to pull him out of the private nursery as he seemed to stop enjoying being there. He only did 2 full days per week, however, it allowed me time to work from home, get the weekly cleaning done, go to the gym and not forgetting a much-needed hour or so to myself. I’m totally gutted, it’s a fantastic nursery and the staff there have been incredible over the years. Max built up huge confidence in himself and established close relationships with children and staff in his time there. The issue seemed to arise two months back when he moved into the age 3-4 room, his positive attitude and love for nursery evaporate. I’m still unsure what caused this shift with him, but it was getting to the point where he was crying at every drop off, (which is totally out of character for him as I could literally leave him with strangers and he wouldn't mind as long as there were toys) he was also checking each morning if he had to go to nursery with a worried looking face. I know it might have just been a phase with the change of room and new staff faces but me being pregnant and emotions running high daily, I just couldn’t bear to put him and myself through the upset each week at morning drop offs. I felt incredibly guilty he was being left somewhere he didn’t want to be while I was at home and could probably multi task and keep him with me. I’m thinking it will be a long 7-week summer holiday having max full time to entertain while moving into my third trimester of pregnancy, but we will get through it and hopefully make plenty fun memories along the way. A few weeks back Max got the dreaded chicken pox. He got a very bad dose of them and was completely floored by the virus. Children’s Piriton in liquid form was our life saver, it completely stopped the itching and made him incredibly drowsy, meaning he slept a lot. Baths in bicarbonate of soda alternated with baths in oats really seemed to help bring out and calm the spots. Finally, I highly recommend Boots calamine and glycerin cream to anyone who’s child is yet to catch chicken pox, it’s fantastic for applying to spots just before bed. I never imagined just how tough it would be to care for a youngster with that virus. Maybe it had something to do with me being pregnant but I literally felt drained and found myself crying 5 nights in a row. Nothing worse when you are doing all you can for your child to keep them comfortable and they are still in distress, you feel like a helpless failure. The positive of him catching it means at least it’s out the way before the baby arrives and before he starts school playgroup in August. Next baby is being vaccinated for sure! I cannot even begin to imagine what some parents must go through when their children are seriously ill and hospital bound. On a more positive note I feel like things are moving forward with my birth preparations. Last week I booked my birthing pool for a home birth. I used a company called ‘Mermaids at Heart’. My friend used them last year and their service was exceptional. You simply reserve your preferred birthing pool online along with extras and then when you reach 36weeks pregnant they contact you for payment. This is to ensure you have had your 36th week midwife appointment and have the go ahead for a home birth prior to payment being taken. Hire is over a 5-week period which starts from week 37 through to week 42. Looking forward to a trial run set up and climbing inside to try out labour and birthing positions to see what feels best. I loved my water birth with my son, the only regret I had was not opting for a room with the inflatable birthing pool upon arrival at Montrose Maternity Unit. I was the only labouring lady there at the time and opted for the big room with windows overlooking the sea. That room had the proper bath like birthing pool. I was in the pool for 3 hours prior to my son being born and my knees where in agony. I literally struggled to get out the pool to deliver my placenta, and my knees hurt for days after. Works been busy lately which is great. Picked up some new online coaching clients which means each evening has been spent writing gym plans. I like having things to focus on, it’s a welcomed break away from being mummy/house wife all the time. I’ve stepped up my game with hypnobirthing practice since I'm now turning 27 weeks pregnant. As you may know, I had Hypnobirthing lessons first time around and found it so empowering that I decided to train up and become a HypnoBirthing practitioner to help other women experience positive birthing experiences. Currently I’m trying to set aside 20mins each day to take time out for myself to lie and listen to the rainbow relaxation CD. I will explain more about this on my next blog post, where I plan to write about all things related to Hypnobirthing. Apologies this post has been rather scatty, but that's pretty much been my life the past month and the reasons why I haven’t been putting out regular content. I hope you all have a wonderful summer holiday. Sharon x Last week marked my first big proper, emotional pregnancy meltdown. It all steamed from a sleepless night, which meant I was fuelled by just a 4-hour broken sleep. Thankfully Max was due in nursery the next day which meant I would get the chance to catch up on a few hours’ sleep, or so I thought. Before I go on, I best mention that I had my 20 week scan last week and that all is thankfully well. It’s a comfort to know baby is developing as she should and have that second gender confirmation. Anyways back to the meltdown. Max, just like me had woken up in a fowl overtired mood after a tough sleepless night (he has been having nightmares lately). He recently moved rooms at nursery since he is now 3 years old. He has been a little unsettled in the new environment and less keen to go there than usual. Even though he has attended the private nursery a few days per week since he was just 7months old and absolutely loves it, I guess the change up of routine and different room is tough for a little one to understand and adjust too. The 10-minute drive to nursery was filled with constant sobs from Max declaring he didn’t want to go to the big boy side. I guess I should have known at that point the drop off wasn’t going to be the usual in and out for me. We arrived and as soon as I got him out his car seat it just went downhill from there. Full on crying and thrashing about in my arms. Yes, I know it’s not ideal to be lifting a heavy 3-year-old about when 21 weeks pregnant but it’s easier said than done. I managed to get his jacket off and sign him in but he was having none of it and had a tight grip of me. He had worked himself up so much through tiredness that he was now frantic. Thankfully one of the staff members came to my aid and tried to calm him down, but he was having none of it. It came to the point where I had to peel him off me and just make a dash for the exit while one of the ladies grabbed him and carried him off away from the door screaming. As soon as I was out the room the flood gates opened and I just lost it. I was crying uncontrollably and to my embarrassment, right at that moment a nursery manager came out the room behind me witnessing my emotional episode. I have never been so mortified in my life! Thankfully she was very understanding and even nipped back into the room to check Max was settling down ok. I knew he would be fine 10mins later, I wasn’t concerned at all about leaving him there. It was just a mixture of the lack of sleep and pregnancy hormones. I think the big cry did me the world of good, but once I had started it was incredibly hard to stop. The drive home consisted of streaming tears and a snotty nose, god knows what pedestrians must have been thinking seeing me. The best word to describe how I look crying is UGLY! I arrived back home just as my husband was getting ready to leave for work, so he was a bit surprised to see the state I was in. Especially considering it was our 5 year wedding anniversary that day. The week improved, my spirits were lifted and I think it was down to getting a several decent night’s sleep. Never underestimate how important sleep is. It’s always the sleep deprivation that hits new parent’s the most. If only all babies and children slept well each night, I think everyone would be walking around with a much more positive mindset and attitude to life. Lack of sleep can affect your emotions, patience and energy levels, your way of thinking and even food choices to name just a few. The morning of all the crying, I spent my time cleaning the house as I always do on Thursdays. I had a photographer coming around that afternoon for a chat regarding birth photography. Yup, that’s right, I plan on getting my labour and birth captured as a story through photos. The meeting went well and I instantly felt a connection with her. On Saturday I attended the wedding of a very good friend of mines. It was such a lovely ceremony and special day, but most of all a much-needed break from being mummy. The photographer I had met a few days earlier was at the wedding helping another photographer. Well, I have taken this as a sign and decided to place my booking with her. This week I’m looking forward to a quieter, less eventful one and hopefully with lots more sleep. It’s my birthday at the end of the month so looking forward to that. It’s the one day where it’s all about you, where you can eat cake without feeling guilty about it. |
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September 2017
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