Last week marked my first big proper, emotional pregnancy meltdown. It all steamed from a sleepless night, which meant I was fuelled by just a 4-hour broken sleep. Thankfully Max was due in nursery the next day which meant I would get the chance to catch up on a few hours’ sleep, or so I thought. Before I go on, I best mention that I had my 20 week scan last week and that all is thankfully well. It’s a comfort to know baby is developing as she should and have that second gender confirmation. Anyways back to the meltdown. Max, just like me had woken up in a fowl overtired mood after a tough sleepless night (he has been having nightmares lately). He recently moved rooms at nursery since he is now 3 years old. He has been a little unsettled in the new environment and less keen to go there than usual. Even though he has attended the private nursery a few days per week since he was just 7months old and absolutely loves it, I guess the change up of routine and different room is tough for a little one to understand and adjust too. The 10-minute drive to nursery was filled with constant sobs from Max declaring he didn’t want to go to the big boy side. I guess I should have known at that point the drop off wasn’t going to be the usual in and out for me. We arrived and as soon as I got him out his car seat it just went downhill from there. Full on crying and thrashing about in my arms. Yes, I know it’s not ideal to be lifting a heavy 3-year-old about when 21 weeks pregnant but it’s easier said than done. I managed to get his jacket off and sign him in but he was having none of it and had a tight grip of me. He had worked himself up so much through tiredness that he was now frantic. Thankfully one of the staff members came to my aid and tried to calm him down, but he was having none of it. It came to the point where I had to peel him off me and just make a dash for the exit while one of the ladies grabbed him and carried him off away from the door screaming. As soon as I was out the room the flood gates opened and I just lost it. I was crying uncontrollably and to my embarrassment, right at that moment a nursery manager came out the room behind me witnessing my emotional episode. I have never been so mortified in my life! Thankfully she was very understanding and even nipped back into the room to check Max was settling down ok. I knew he would be fine 10mins later, I wasn’t concerned at all about leaving him there. It was just a mixture of the lack of sleep and pregnancy hormones. I think the big cry did me the world of good, but once I had started it was incredibly hard to stop. The drive home consisted of streaming tears and a snotty nose, god knows what pedestrians must have been thinking seeing me. The best word to describe how I look crying is UGLY! I arrived back home just as my husband was getting ready to leave for work, so he was a bit surprised to see the state I was in. Especially considering it was our 5 year wedding anniversary that day. The week improved, my spirits were lifted and I think it was down to getting a several decent night’s sleep. Never underestimate how important sleep is. It’s always the sleep deprivation that hits new parent’s the most. If only all babies and children slept well each night, I think everyone would be walking around with a much more positive mindset and attitude to life. Lack of sleep can affect your emotions, patience and energy levels, your way of thinking and even food choices to name just a few. The morning of all the crying, I spent my time cleaning the house as I always do on Thursdays. I had a photographer coming around that afternoon for a chat regarding birth photography. Yup, that’s right, I plan on getting my labour and birth captured as a story through photos. The meeting went well and I instantly felt a connection with her. On Saturday I attended the wedding of a very good friend of mines. It was such a lovely ceremony and special day, but most of all a much-needed break from being mummy. The photographer I had met a few days earlier was at the wedding helping another photographer. Well, I have taken this as a sign and decided to place my booking with her. This week I’m looking forward to a quieter, less eventful one and hopefully with lots more sleep. It’s my birthday at the end of the month so looking forward to that. It’s the one day where it’s all about you, where you can eat cake without feeling guilty about it.
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September 2017
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