Just over a few months of pregnancy left, thank goodness! I’m so over the big belly, aches, pains and general tiredness. Although I’ve breezed through both my pregnancies if I could fast forward from conception to birth then I would. A lot of women love being pregnant, but as I’ve said in previous posts, I’m certainly not one of them. Give me the screaming, sleepless new born stage any day of the week. I've been feeling mentally drained recently. I’ve been extremely forgetful, unsociable and walking around in a daze. I’ve managed to put the cheese grater in the fridge, forgotten coffee catch ups, driven in autopilot to the wrong destinations and even went through a speed camera slightly above the speed limit, I now await my first speeding fine and likely penalty points. Been reading a lot of mummy forums lately and taken back by all the harsh comments and judgements by others. It seems that we live in a society now where people feel it’s acceptable and their rightly duty to shame other mums on parenting methods that differ from their own. From bottle making methods, toddler meal choices, nap frequency, discipline, right through to toilet training, there will always be mums judging other mums on their parenting methods. The internet seems to give people a pass to be complete as$$holes to others. These so called ‘Perfect Super Mums’ probably wouldn’t say boo to a ghost while away from the safety of their internet devices. The way I see it, everyone does what they feel is best for their families. A prime example, would be the judgement I myself was given as a new mum. My son was only around 8 or 9 weeks old when I first moved him into his own room within his big cot. Most advice online recommends keeping babies sleeping next to you for up to 6 months but this was not practical or working for us. Between Max’s baby noises, our movements and sleep patterns we constantly disturbed one another. I felt the need to peek into his moses basket each time I heard the slightest noise or when I moved to a more comfortable position. Almost instantly as soon as max was in his big cot with more room to wriggle around and no noise disturbance from us, we all started sleeping so much better. My son has always been a fantastic sleeper and slept all night from a very early age so we have been very lucky. We had an excellent video monitor which allowed us to see and hear him at all times, along with a movement sensor pad under the mattress. As you can imagine our sleeping set up was highly judged by other parents who kept their child sleeping with them from 6months right up to 2 years old. We did what was best for us as a family. I have no regrets and will likely do the same again with our eagerly awaited baby girl. Shaming mums on their individual parenting choices is sadly a daily reality online. It drives me up the wall. I now refrain from seeking advice on forums, as it only leads to personal upset, worry and guilt. It’s very overwhelming with so many conflicting views on the ‘best’ way to raise a child. So what if my 3 year old is a fussy eater and still on night nappies. Every child is different and what method works for one family might not work for another. We all do the very best as parents and if the best isn’t good enough for these opinionated online ‘Super Mummies’ with their optimum parenting methods, then I say screw them! Thankfully we don’t often hear comments made by family and friends who scrutinizing our choices, but keyboard warriors present on online forums never hold their opinions back. Don’t compare yourself to others, motherhood is a constant learning curve full of daily challenges. Each day presents new skills to learn, it’s a huge lifestyle change for first time mums. You’re already doing a fantastic job, your child’s alive, give yourself a huge pat on the back and try let the judgement and opinions of others slide.
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September 2017
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