Its been a while since I last wrote a blog post, life’s been busy with Orla arriving and I’ve been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster.
I didn’t mention on my birth story post, but 2 days prior to labour, we sadly had to say goodbye to our fur baby. Mindy was a beautiful German Shepherd who was near 8 years old, we had had her since she was pup. Mindy and I shared a love hate relationship throughout the years. She was always a scally of a dog despite attending puppy and junior training school and she still acted like a puppy right up to her last moments. She would bark and whine constantly in the house, go bananas with excitement when people visited and more frustratingly, refuse to come in from the garden on recalls. When we welcomed our son Max into our life’s back in 2014, Mindy went through a spell of depression. They dynamics in our pack had changed, she had to adapt to her new position, which sadly she struggled with. These last 18months were particularly hard for her and I. With my husband’s workload hugely increasing and Max becoming more boisterous and physical with her and my pregnancy. She started showing signs of aggression towards us which was a huge worry. Her behaviour rapidly changed in the house. She started jumping baby gates to enter dog free zones, snapping when contact was made with her collar and her patience levels for Max were virtually non-existent. With Max now of age where he can confidently move around the house himself, I was stressed and panicking daily at keeping them separate to avoid Max being hurt. Even out in the garden Mindy would knock him over, snap at him and more recently try and drag him around by his clothes. It was then I knew it was time for Mindy to go before someone got badly hurt. She had previously bitten my husband (unintendedly) which caused him excruciating pain, and had snapped and bitten vets. She was then being exercised less and less as I was pregnant and a big dog pulling on the lead while barking and lunging at other dogs was not ideal in my condition. The less exercise she got the worse she got in the house. I spent this whole year pushing my husband to consider rehoming her, which fell on deaf ears. With the impending arrival of Orla, I felt fearful of what life would be like in the house, how could I possibly keep an eye on all 3 at the same time and ensure the dog got interaction and long walks daily. As you know, I had a home birth. Mindy had been booked into the Dog Hotel in Huntly (her usual holiday destination) since early March. Unfortunately, she only lasted 2 days there and I received a dreaded email from the owner informing us that she had bitten 2 of her staff and drawn blood. Devastated at her behaviour, but mostly the terrible timing. She simply could not be in the house while I laboured, and there were no family or friends willing to take her on for a while. Clark grudgingly spent a whole morning phoning around countless organisations to find somewhere willing to take Mindy on until she could be rehomed. Unfortunately, due to her showing aggression and biting, nowhere would take her on. Most places told my husband she would need to be put to sleep. Feeling rather shocked, he phoned our vets for a second opinion and some advice. Based upon us having small children at home and the fact they knew our dog had bitten a few vets and was getting aggressive, they confirmed that the right thing to do would be to put Mindy to sleep. There was no one we knew who would take her on, we had to make a fast decision with the babies impending arrival, so the difficult heart-breaking decision was made. Two and a half hours after the call, the vet arrived at our house to put Mindy to sleep. I wasn’t there at the time of her passing, as a parent I thought it more responsible to shield our son from the sadness and take him out to a play barn while the procedure took place. My husband was left to deal with the horrific scenes himself. It wasn’t until a day or so after that he finally was able to share her final moments with me. An evening that had us both bawling our eyes out. We now live with an over powering feeling of guilt. Mindy was in good health and possibly only halfway through her life expectancy. Yes, she caused us constant bickering and give me daily stress, but I did love the bones off that dog. Waking up to snow recently really hurt. Each year with first snowfall Mindy would race around the garden, jumping and bounding about like a dafty. We miss her so much, I feel so terrible how negatively I use to talk about her to others. I’d do anything to rewind time and enjoy her again. OUR BEAUTIFUL MINDY The house is empty now you are gone Food drops on the floor, but your wet nose is there no more When someone comes by, there’s no barks now, which makes me cry It’s all over now, you are truly gone Somehow, we will find a way, to try and carry on Love you always Mum x
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September 2017
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